Chapter 29: Daoist Magic for Picking Up Girls

The morning light was faint, and a gentle breeze was blowing.

The first ray of sunlight, imbued with a hint of vitality, poured into the room.

Gu Mo opened his eyes, lazily breaking free from the shackles of his duvet, and pushed himself up into a half-sitting position.

Gazing at the furnishings in his own room, Gu Mo’s expression darkened, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Sigh~ The front door of the shop was just repaired, and now the front door of the house is broken. Day in and day out, one damn nuisance after another, never giving a guy a single moment to catch his breath!"

After venting his frustration, Gu Mo smoothed the expression on his face and, with boundless resignation, got out of bed to wash up. Once properly put together, he headed straight to the kitchen and set a large pot of black rice porridge to simmer.

Steam drifted upward, and the rich fragrance of the porridge filled the air.

Before long, the shuffling sound of footsteps echoed from the living room.

As the curtain was lifted, Xiao Yulou, catching the enticing aroma, rubbed his large hands together with a beaming smile and greeted him cheerfully, "Brother Gu, good morning!"

Gu Mo stirred the simmering black rice porridge with a wooden ladle and cast a sideways glance at Xiao Yulou.

<div>"Brother Xiao, you've already reeled a young lady in... Don't you think you should put on a bit of a better show?"</div>

Hearing this, it was Xiao Yulou’s turn to be utterly bewildered.

"Ah... What is Brother Gu talking about? This poor Taoist has no idea what you mean!"

At these words, Gu Mo rolled his eyes at Xiao Yulou and said leisurely, "If you don't leave a good impression, how on earth are you supposed to woo her, you punk?"

Xiao Yulou was momentarily stunned by the advice.

"Ah—what good impression?"

Gu Mo tapped the edge of the iron pot with his ladle, pointing it directly at Xiao Yulou’s nose with an expression that conveyed a deep sense of exasperation.

"Are you an idiot? Go to sleep early and wake up early, and dress yourself up properly. Practice meditation or recite scriptures—whatever it takes! At the very least, put on a facade of being hardworking and motivated!"

Hearing this, sudden enlightenment dawned on Xiao Yulou.

"So that’s what Brother Gu meant!"

With that, Gu Mo shoved a plate of freshly made pancakes and a bowl of black rice porridge directly into Xiao Yulou’s hands.

"Hurry up and go—do I have to teach you everything?"

Just as Xiao Yulou, holding the breakfast with a grin, reached the doorway, he suddenly turned back to throw a parting jab at Gu Mo.

"Brother Gu, how can an expert in the game of love like you stumble so badly?"

Without waiting for a reply, Xiao Yulou scurried away. Gu Mo’s face contorted in anger as he opened his mouth to hurl abuse, "You mangy Taoist, damn you! Are your skin itching for a beating?"

...

Shortly after, having washed up, Xiang Yunjiao sat shyly at the living room table. Xiao Yulou, clad in his Taoist robes, was equally bashful, at a complete loss for where to begin.

*Swish—*

Gu Mo parted the curtain with his head, carried out two more portions of breakfast, and sat down, saying gently, "Miss Xiang, please don't stand on ceremony. Just treat this place like your own home."

Hearing this, the short-haired girl Xiang Yunjiao offered a shy smile and murmured a soft thank you.

*Click—*

Right at that moment, a series of rumbling sounds echoed.

A dark shadow suddenly darted out from the bedroom and crashed directly into Gu Mo’s arms.

In a split second, Gu Mo’s vision went black, and he nearly toppled headfirst into the black rice porridge.

*Cough, cough—*

After a couple of coughs, a red-eared Gu Mo clutched his chest and hoisted the furry little glutton up by the scruff of its neck.

"Furball, were you a starving ghost in your past life? You almost dragged me down with you!"

Hearing this, the furry little glutton aggrievedly lifted its galaxy-like eyes, which were filled with deep guilt alongside an undiminished craving for food.

Meeting those innocent eyes of the little foodie, Gu Mo felt his heart melt instantly. With boundless resignation, he sighed and pushed his two bowls of porridge aside.

"All right, Furball, these two bowls are yours."

Upon hearing this, the furry little glutton immediately widened its fearsome, cavernous mouth, its tongue coated in glistening saliva licking across four rows of sharp fangs.

And so, three people and one pitch-black pet proceeded to eat breakfast.

However, no sooner had Gu Mo picked up his spoon than the furry little glutton had already swept through its two bowls of porridge like a whirlwind.

Seeing this, Gu Mo was left entirely numb.

"Good grief, Furball! Can you have a little bit of manners? Eating this fast!"

Complaints aside, Gu Mo, being the responsible master, picked up the furry little glutton and carried it into the kitchen.

Upon seeing the remaining half-pot of food, the furry little glutton’s galaxy-like eyes seemed to have discovered a brand-new continent...

After breakfast, Gu Mo looked across at the short-haired girl Xiang Yunjiao and asked softly, "Miss Xiang, what are your plans for the future?"

Hearing this, the short-haired girl Xiang Yunjiao wore a troubled expression and replied softly, "My purpose in setting out this time was simply to execute the traitor Xiang Haitang. In the end, both Xiang Haitang and Fourth Master Xiang met their demise. And I..."

At this point, the short-haired girl Xiang Yunjiao cast a furtive glance toward Xiao Yulou sitting nearby. This ambiguous and subtle look was instantly captured by Gu Mo.

He truly had no idea what on earth made that wretched swindler Xiao Yulou so appealing.

To think he could hook such a pure and refined young woman on their very first meeting—how utterly enviable!

If anyone was to blame, it was Xiao Yulou for surreptitiously making off with Xiang Yunjiao’s embroidered veil. Among the Xiangxi clan, that was considered a token of betrothal for a woman. Gu Mo couldn't help wondering if Xiao Yulou had done it on purpose!

Suddenly, Gu Mo’s eyes rolled as a wave of mischievous schemes began to churn within him.

With a sincere and amiable smile, the landlord spoke up, "Miss Xiang, having lived deep in the mountains for so long, you certainly haven't had the chance to properly see this beautiful world. Now that your task is complete, why not take your time to look around and buy yourself a few things you like?"

Fearing his words lacked sufficient persuasive power, Gu Mo gently added a few more lines.

"Besides, Brother Xiao and I are still suffering from heavy injuries and would feel quite embarrassed to trouble Miss Xiang. Should Brother Xiao's old injuries flare up, our meager stock of elixirs won't be nearly enough!"

Under Gu Mo’s persuasive appeal to both reason and emotion, Xiang Yunjiao lowered her blushing face and nodded quietly.

Seeing this, Xiao Yulou immediately gave Gu Mo a covert thumbs-up.

*'Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! Brother Gu's silver tongue is truly unmatched! This poor Taoist is filled with such boundless admiration that it feels like the endless waters of the Yellow River overflowing beyond control!'*

With a faint smile, the landlord Gu Mo pulled a water card, an electricity card, and a slip of paper from his pocket and handed them to Xiao Yulou, preparing to fleece this immortal-looking fellow thoroughly.

Noticing this, the latter smiled faintly and accepted them with complete cooperation.

Seeing that matters had reached this stage, Gu Mo stood up with a wicked grin, winking and gesturing suggestively at Xiao Yulou.

"Brother Xiao, both the water and electricity bills need to be settled today. I'll have to trouble you to take Miss Xiang along to pick out a few sets of clothes and daily necessities."

Without waiting for Xiao Yulou to reply, Gu Mo reached out to grab the furry little glutton and added, "I still have to look after the shop, so the rest is in Brother Xiao's hands."

At these words, Xiao Yulou nodded readily without hesitation. "Consider everything taken care of by this poor Taoist!"

Hearing Xiao Yulou’s affirmative response, Gu Mo flashed an imperceptible, cunning smile and hurried away to make his escape.

Once Gu Mo had rushed off, Xiao Yulou, barely containing his mirth, gently unfolded the slip of paper.

Upon closer inspection, the paper was densely packed with a myriad of items that Xiao Yulou was expected to purchase himself.

At the very top of the list were Wang Xiaohu’s phone number and the repair of the living room door. Naturally, aside from several sets of clothes, shoes, and socks, there were also various daily necessities, as well as kitchen seasonings and ingredients!

Reading through this, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou’s expression sank as he drew in a sharp breath of cold air, feeling a deep, itching resentment toward Gu Mo in the depths of his heart.

Yet, it was undeniable that landlord Gu Mo had indeed created a prime opportunity for Xiao Yulou to woo her.

After all, matters of the heart required an investment of both time and money.

Otherwise, wouldn't it just be a matter of getting something for nothing?

...

After an internal roar of frustration, Xiao Yulou's eyes rolled once more as he spoke softly and gently to the neighboring Xiang Yunjiao.

"Miss Xiang, would you like to see a magic trick?"

Blushing fiercely, the short-haired Xiang Yunjiao nodded gently.

Seeing the Xiangxi girl nod, Xiao Yulou reached directly into the wide sleeve of his Taoist robe, produced a burlap sack, and placed it on the table.

That's right!

The immortal-looking Xiao Yulou had actually pulled out a burlap sack; goodness knows what mischief this wretched fellow was up to!

In the span of a breath, the immortal-looking Taoist slowly produced a single coin and a tortoise shell, placing them before Xiang Yunjiao.

"Miss Xiang, watch closely!"

With a smile, Xiao Yulou dropped the coin into the tortoise shell and began to shake it.

Suddenly, a chaotic clattering sound rang out!

The mouth of the miraculous tortoise shell began to spew out a massive torrent of coins, just like a breached embankment!

*Clatter, clatter, clatter~*

In an instant, countless coins spilled across the floor of Gu Mo’s living room.

Seeing this, the short-haired girl Xiang Yunjiao rubbed her eyes in disbelief, utterly failing to comprehend what was happening right before her.

Regaining her senses a moment later, Xiang Yunjiao reached out and held open the burlap sack sitting on the table.

*Swish, swish, swish~*

Before long, the deflated sack was filled to the brim.

Only when a full sack of coins had been spewed forth did the bizarre tortoise shell finally come to a stop.

Following this, Xiang Yunjiao bent down and picked up a coin from the floor into the palm of her hand. The cool and authentic texture confirmed it was definitely neither magic nor illusion.

Seeing this, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou gave his Taoist sleeve a flick and bent down to help pick up the remaining coins from the floor.

As the scattered coins gradually dwindled, their fingers brushed against one another. A sensation akin to an electric shock instantly rushed through every nerve in Xiao Yulou’s body.

For a moment, the two of them froze in place, blushing deeply.

Ultimately, it was Xiang Yunjiao who broke the awkward silence, asking with profound confusion, "Daoist Xiao, how is this possible?"

Hearing this, a beaming Xiao Yulou held out the tortoise shell and said softly, "This tortoise shell artifact is called 'Wealth of the Realm,' a treasure personally passed down by my grandmaster, Patriarch Yuxur. Ordinarily, whenever this poor Taoist infuses it with Taoist Qi, it can form a protective shield. And whenever I find myself short on money, I can simply..."

At this point, Xiao Yulou, who always cared deeply about his pride, trailed off.

Xiang Yunjiao, upon witnessing this, naturally felt a surge of secret admiration.

With a sudden shift of the scene, Gu Mo, humming a cheerful tune, remained immersed in the pleasant satisfaction of having played a trick on someone. Little did he know, a youth dressed in white was already waiting for him, seated quietly upon the steps of the incense and candle shop...