Chapter 14: Beginning Cultivation

"That is easily done. I shall go and meet her myself!"

As the words fell, a thick plume of smoke suddenly erupted within the cramped little room.

By the time the smoke cleared, there was no trace of Jiang Jingshui, the King of Hell, to be found anywhere!

Gu Mo sat dumbfounded on the edge of the bed. God knows how that foolish King of Hell would treat Li Hongyan, her romantic rival...

Within the span of a breath, the dumbfounded and contemplative Gu Mo immediately felt a piercing, searing pain shoot through his finger.

"What the hell!"

Crying out with a loud shout, Gu Mo instantly flicked away the cigarette butt that was about to burn down to his fingers, blew a stream of cool air from his mouth against his fingertips, and then looked blankly at Xiao Yulou sitting opposite him.

"Brother Xiao, what should we do now? Is Li Hongyan already dead? The foolish King of Hell wouldn't do anything drastic, would she?"

Hearing this, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou flicked the sleeve of his Taoist robe, glared with wide, angry eyes, and said,

"Brother Gu, why are you always so irresolute and bogged down by hesitation!"

Having finished this scolding, Xiao Yulou let out another cold snort and spoke up,

"That Li Hongyan, as your ex-girlfriend, no longer has anything to do with you. If you remain this infatuated, you will surely be blackmailed by other eccentric practitioners with ulterior motives!"

Hearing this stern wake-up call, Gu Mo smiled with a pale face and utter helplessness.

"Brother Xiao, if it were you, what would you do... Remain aloof and stay out of it?"

"This poor Taoist..."

Xiao Yulou originally wanted to retort, but wasn't that 'Sister Lin' also Xiao Yulou's past beloved?

"Sigh..."

Heaving a heavy sigh, Xiao Yulou could only look at Gu Mo with a sense of utter helplessness.

"Brother Gu, it's only because Her Majesty the King of Hell lacks worldly experience. If this were any ordinary woman in the mortal world, you would definitely be in deep trouble!"

Hearing this, Gu Mo looked blankly at the concrete floor beneath his feet and nodded in heavy agreement.

"If it were an ordinary girl, it would be a real miracle if she didn't throw a tantrum involving crying, making a scene, and threatening suicide!"

Just as his voice trailed off, Gu Mo collected his wits, looked at Xiao Yulou, and asked in a deep voice,

"Brother Xiao, what should we do now?"

Hearing Gu Mo's question, Xiao Yulou naturally knew what Gu Mo was most worried about.

In a heartbeat, Xiao Yulou flicked the sleeve of his Taoist robe to expose his left hand and began calculating for a moment.

......

After a long while, Xiao Yulou raised his eyes to look at the extremely anxious Gu Mo and said leisurely,

"Brother Gu, do not worry needlessly. Li Hongyan has not lost her life because of this, and Her Majesty the King of Hell has merely gone to gather intelligence..."

Hearing this, the little heart that had been hanging in Gu Mo's throat finally returned to its proper place.

"As long as she's fine!"

Little did he expect that the next second, Xiao Yulou would pick up the cup of cold tea beside him, take a sip, and say leisurely,

"On the contrary, Li Hongyan is facing much greater trouble!"

Hearing Xiao Yulou's divination, Gu Mo went completely numb all over.

"What the heck? Even more trouble than losing her tiny life?"

As soon as he finished speaking, Gu Mo furrowed his brows and let out a disdainful, cold snort.

"Brother Xiao, can't you speak more directly? Long pauses will scare people to death!"

Yet, no sooner had he snapped at Xiao Yulou than Gu Mo immediately leaned forward and asked,

"What kind of trouble could possibly be harder to deal with than losing one's life?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou looked at Gu Mo with utter calm and said slowly,

"Hard to deal with? It is a fate worse than death!"

At this, a pang of sympathy welled up in Gu Mo once more.

"Even if Li Hongyan once toyed with me for the sake of some damned dare, she still doesn't deserve to die! How on earth has she run into something worse than death?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou's lips curved upward instantly as he sized Gu Mo up with a deeply skeptical gaze.

"Brother Gu, she is merely an ex-girlfriend. Why must you let yourself be affected by her?"

Gu Mo knitted his brows tightly and asked in deep confusion,

"You scruffy Taoist, are you going to talk or not? Don't play games with me!"

Seeing that matters had reached this point, Xiao Yulou could only let out a sigh and reveal the whole story.

"That Li Hongyan carries a malignant fetus within her, and coupled with her intricate, gossamer ties with Brother Gu, she has consequently caught the eye of malicious people!"

Hearing the explosive news about carrying a malignant fetus, Gu Mo's mind buzzed relentlessly.

"What on earth... What on earth is a malignant fetus?"

Xiao Yulou raised his hand to pull out two more cigarettes, lit one, took a deep drag, and spoke unhurriedly,

"The sins we bring upon ourselves are the hardest to bear!"

Xiao Yulou stared straight into Gu Mo's eyes as he dropped this line, before continuing,

"If you want to blame someone, blame that damned Sun Qiang!"

Hearing that name once more, Gu Mo immediately furrowed his brows.

"Brother Xiao, did that punk Sun Qiang provoke some filthy entity? Otherwise, how could Li Hongyan have conceived a malignant fetus?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou took another deep drag of his cigarette, letting the nicotine violently stir within his lungs.

"Brother Gu, we have already uncovered the enemy's background. If we do not cultivate diligently as soon as possible, you, I, and the Walking Corpse Brother will all find ourselves in grave danger!"

Hearing this, Gu Mo finally pulled his focus back and stopped dwelling on Li Hongyan's affairs.

"Life and death are preordained; I cannot fail Big Brother again!"

With that, Gu Mo looked at the Walking Corpse Brother with profound guilt. The latter, despite being a newly initiated walking corpse, actually showed a tiny trace of emotional stirring.

"Brother Xiao, just tell me how we're going to do this!"

At these words, a bright gleam suddenly flashed in Xiao Yulou's eyes, as if an extremely bold training regimen had already taken shape in his mind.

"Let's go!"

With that single command, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou abruptly crushed out his cigarette butt and shoved the stiffly standing Walking Corpse Brother straight into the wide sleeve of his Taoist robe. Seeing this, Gu Mo also grabbed the gluttonous furball.

Yet the next second, Gu Mo, standing on the ground, went completely numb all over.

"What the hell~ Why am I only wearing a bellyband?"

Cutting the scene back to Gu Mo.

That psychiatric patient uniform had long since turned to ashes. Consequently, the King of Hell, Jiang Jingshui, had no choice but to dress Gu Mo in that crimson, eerie bellyband. After all, Jiang Jingshui couldn't very well watch her own husband run around completely naked, could she?

Suddenly, Xiao Yulou pulled several sets of clothes in various colors out of his sleeve.

"Brother Gu, pick any set you like!"

When Gu Mo saw these flashy, multicolored outfits, he felt utterly numb.

Coming into view were all sorts of garments held in Xiao Yulou's hands, mostly theatrical costumes for stage plays, among which a yellow jumpsuit identical to Bruce Lee's stood out particularly conspicuously.

After a brief moment of thought, Gu Mo decided to take the jumpsuit. Since they were going to cultivate, their movements would undoubtedly be huge. Wearing those theatrical stage costumes would definitely restrict his limbs.

Once Gu Mo changed into the jumpsuit, he felt thoroughly uncomfortable all over.

Not only did his muscles feel taut all over his body, but what was most fatal was that this yellow jumpsuit seemed somewhat ill-fitting. Gu Mo even had the lingering suspicion that his crown jewels were under constant threat of restriction at any moment.

Then Xiao Yulou stood up abruptly, pinching a Taoist hand seal and tracing a Tai Chi symbol rapidly on the ground with his foot.

Seeing this familiar scene, Gu Mo silently cried out that it was bad.

With a crisp slap, Gu Mo's wrist was instantly grabbed in a death grip by Xiao Yulou. Then, the two of them were dragged off by Xiao Yulou at a breakneck speed...

The bright moon hung high, and a chilly wind blew.

All the scenery before Gu Mo's eyes shifted past at lightning speed. Within his ears, roaring gusts of powerful airflow rushed relentlessly.

The footwork and movement technique Xiao Yulou was employing were far too swift; almost in the blink of an eye, the two brothers had arrived at a secluded spot.

Being dragged along at a furious, passive speed, Gu Mo caught sight of a massive tree not far ahead, and his sphincter instantly clenched in terror as his sturdy torso trembled violently.

"We're going to crash! We're going to crash!"

As the words left his mouth, a thunderous bang echoed.

Gu Mo's entire face made intimate, high-speed contact with the thick tree trunk!

For a moment, Gu Mo's head buzzed deafeningly, and the leafy, verdant tree rained down a flurry of fluttering, drifting leaves.

As for the utterly wretched Xiao Yulou, he ran another dozen meters or so before finally slamming on the brakes, turning around with a sheepish expression, and saying,

"Brother Gu... Are you alright?"

Dizzy and disoriented from the impact, Gu Mo reached out to massage his battered face, while two streams of warm blood gushed from his nostrils. Pressing a hand against his bloody nose, Gu Mo glared fiercely at Xiao Yulou.

"What the hell~ Am I alright? You go try crashing into a tree!"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou could only stand there flashing an apologetic smile.

Immediately afterward, Gu Mo burst into a furious tirade:

"You idiot scruffy Taoist, if you don't have the skills, stop trying to speed race! This is already the second time I've hit a tree! Next time, can you slow down a bit in advance?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou's face instantly darkened. Adopting a shameless attitude of a stubborn dead duck refusing to admit defeat, he snapped back,

"Hmph~ If this poor Taoist knew how to brake and how to turn corners, I would have stopped long ago!"

Recovering his wits, Gu Mo showed utter disdain for Xiao Yulou. But after casting a glance around his surroundings, Gu Mo was immediately taken aback.

"Brother Xiao, why are we back at Bibo Pool! Have you forgotten about the immortal entity Liu Kunshang?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou flicked the sleeve of his Taoist robe, stood under the brilliant moonlight, and said in a deep voice,

"Brother Gu, this poor Taoist has said it many times. The environment at Bibo Pool is quiet and serene, completely uncorrupted by mortal hands. There is no better place for cultivation!"

As soon as the words fell, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou gave Gu Mo no chance to react whatsoever, simply flicking the sleeve of his Taoist robe.

A few dozen heavy thuds echoed as objects slammed into the ground, revealing a row of deep red, eerie coffins arrayed right before Gu Mo's eyes.

Seeing this, Gu Mo was struck dumb, his jaw nearly dropping to the floor as his entire being thoroughly unraveled in the breeze...

After taking a moment to gather his wits, Gu Mo popped his eyes wide to the size of beef eggs, contorted his features, and roared in fury,

"You scruffy Taoist, did you sneak off to grave-robbing behind my back? Where on earth did all these coffins come from?!"

At this, the immortal-looking Xiao Yulou completely ignored Gu Mo's angry scolding.

First, this utterly wretched fellow retrieved Gu Mo's 'cheap big brother' from his sleeve, and then he pulled out the ritual items required for setting up an altar.

A wooden table of suitable size was covered with a table drape printed with the Eight Trigrams and Tai Chi. Upon this ritual platform were neatly arranged incense candles, joss paper, a peach wood sword, and a small dish containing a blended mixture of chicken blood and cinnabar.

Among them, a bronze-crafted Sanqing bell exuded an antique charm and a strong sense of authenticity.

Suddenly, Xiao Yulou swept the sleeve of his Taoist robe upward, snatched up the peach wood sword, and began brandishing it through the air.

"Heaven and earth boundless, yin and yang unbind!"

With the chant finished, a piercing whistle of split air rang out.

Xiao Yulou fiercely flipped up a yellow talisman with the tip of his peach wood sword, reached out, and slammed it heavily down upon the ritual altar!

With a crisp snap, a writing brush resting on the table instantly levitated into mid-air.

Clad in his black Taoist robes, Xiao Yulou reached out, grabbed the brush with practiced speed, dipped it into the cinnabar and chicken blood mixture, and began writing furiously across the yellow talisman.

Once the inscription on the yellow talisman was complete, Xiao Yulou scooped up a large handful of round, square-holed paper money and hurled it toward the sky.

Swish, swash~

The fluttering paper money drifted down like falling leaves, scattering toward those eerie coffins one by one.

Having scattered the paper money, Xiao Yulou reversed his grip to wield the archaic Sanqing bell, shaking it vigorously while chanting incantations under his breath.

Jingle-ling~

"Walking corpses have spirit, walking corpses have nature! Banners and talismans summon souls, obey my command! Five thunders divide the form, let the souls depart their shells!"

The moment the chant finished, Xiao Yulou gripped the yellow talisman and gave it a single-handed twist.

With a loud *boom*, the yellow talisman pinched between his fingers ignited spontaneously without any flame.

Instantly, the lids of every single coffin in the clearing popped open with a violent snap, and corpses oozing black vapor from head to toe rose straight up from within.

Seeing this, the dumbfounded Gu Mo let out a quintessential piece of national profanity from the depths of his soul:

"What the hell!"