Chapter 6: The Mercenary Scholar

Inside the small room, the faint sound of breathing could be heard.

Suddenly, Gu Mo twitched and snapped his eyes open.

The blurry image that met his gaze was none other than Xiao Yulou’s pancake-flat face. The distance was so close it felt as if they were about to kiss.

Having just awakened to such a soul-stirring sight, Gu Mo was so terrified that his sphincter tightened and his body jolted. His heart hammered against his ribs so violently it nearly leaped out of his chest, all thanks to Xiao Yulou.

In a flash, Gu Mo contorted his features, his face turning livid as he opened his mouth to roar.

"You mangy mutt, what the hell are you doing?!"

Upon hearing this, the ethereal-looking Xiao Yulou merely flicked his Taoist robe, straightened up, and let out an awkward laugh.

"Hehehehe~"

To Gu Mo’s ears, however, that laugh sounded like a victory cheer from someone who had just taken advantage of a situation.

The next second, regaining his senses, Gu Mo hurriedly checked his own body, terrified that his virginity might have been snatched by this sleazy, mangy priest.

When he saw that his trousers were intact, the heart that had been hanging in his throat finally settled.

Gu Mo then furrowed his brow and surveyed his surroundings.

The small room was sparsely furnished: a table, a wooden chair, and the soft bed beneath him.

On the nightstand sat a single framed photograph. In it, Li Hetang and Agent O stood on either side of a man.

Suddenly, Gu Mo turned his livid gaze toward Xiao Yulou, who was standing by the bed, and asked.

"Brother Xiao, where are we? Why does this room look just like the dormitory?"

Hearing this, the ethereal Xiao Yulou formed a Taoist hand seal and replied airily.

"Indeed!"

Hearing such an impossibly brief response, Gu Mo immediately cursed.

"Indeed my foot! Can you, for the love of everything, act like a normal person for once?"

Xiao Yulou, completely unbothered, gave a slight nod.

"Brother Gu, this is the secret base of the 749 Provisions Company."

Upon hearing this, Gu Mo’s heart skipped a beat.

"What the hell! Wasn't I in the women's restroom earlier? How did I wake up in the 749 secret base?"

Hearing a series of gurgling sounds, Gu Mo looked over.

The pitch-black, fuzzy Gluttonous Spirit was rolling back and forth by the bedside, looking as if it were drunk.

Gu Mo, filled with questions, grabbed the fuzzy creature to take a closer look.

The Gluttonous Spirit’s star-like eyes were unfocused, and its tongue, dripping with crystal-clear saliva, hung limply from its mouth...

Seeing this, Gu Mo looked up at Xiao Yulou, who was dressed in black Taoist robes.

The latter, seeing his gaze, stopped speaking in archaic riddles.

"Brother Gu, the fuzzy one has absorbed all the anesthesia from your body. Otherwise, there is no way you would have awakened this early."

Gu Mo nodded slowly. The fuzzy Gluttonous Spirit in his hands was truly a rare and precious pet.

Xiao Yulou shook his head, chanted a ‘Wuliang Tianzun,’ and then, with his ethereal air, leaned in close to Gu Mo and whispered.

"Brother Gu, we are beneath the downtown hospital. That 749 Provisions Company really is wealthy beyond measure!"

Gu Mo’s mind reeled as if struck by lightning.

"What? Beneath the downtown hospital? They really know how to make things complicated!"

Xiao Yulou nodded calmly.

Just then, the door creaked open. Standing in the doorway was none other than Li Hetang, dressed in casual clothes.

"Yo, Brother Gu is awake?"

Seeing this familiar figure, Gu Mo rolled out of bed and said.

"Soup-drinker, the mission is complete. Can Brother Xiao and I leave now?"

Hearing this, Xiao Yulou, in his black robes, narrowed his eyes, stepped away from the bedside, and proclaimed loudly.

"Not so fast!"

At this, both Gu Mo and Li Hetang turned their confused gazes toward the sleazy Taoist.

The ethereal-looking priest then pulled a gleaming golden abacus from his sleeve.

Seeing this prop reeking of copper and greed, Gu Mo and Li Hetang had a very bad premonition.

*Clack, clack, clack, clack!*

Xiao Yulou flicked the golden beads of his abacus at lightning speed, declaring righteously.

"At the desolate village by the old bridge, Brother Gu personally destroyed three ground-bound scarecrows; I’ll be generous and charge three thousand for that.

In the Well of Gods and Demons, you two stepped on me; that’s five hundred each.

In the forest of onlookers, Soup-drinker was almost blown away by the wind from the giant ants; Brother Gu and I used our special abilities to save you, so that’s one thousand for Soup-drinker.

In the spider cave, the three of us were bound in cocoons and Brother Gu went berserk; I used my Heavenly Gang Qi to save you both, that’s one thousand each. Later, the giant spider was held off by the berserk Brother Gu, so Brother He pays one thousand.

In the sweltering elm forest, Soup-drinker enlightened me on monster knowledge, so I’ll deduct fifty cents for ‘Soup-drinker.’

Later, in Cat Brother’s cave, I left behind all my snacks and supplies; that has to be charged to Soup-drinker as well. I’ll give you a double discount and call it six hundred.

In the final battle in the desert depths, all three of us contributed; Brother Gu and I charge one thousand each for labor."

Having said this, the sleazy Xiao Yulou lifted his head, looking like a corrupt merchant...

Pah!

How could he look like a corrupt merchant!

Xiao Yulou was a total penny-pincher, a man who wouldn't spend a dime and would even try to pluck hair from others!

In a flash, Xiao Yulou looked at the stunned Li Hetang and said.

"Soup-drinker owes Brother Gu six thousand in total, and owes me five thousand five hundred ninety-nine yuan and fifty cents!"

Li Hetang, standing at the door, broke into a cold sweat.

"Xiao, you really calculated that down to the cent!"

The ethereal Xiao Yulou flicked his robe and said nonchalantly.

"Naturally! I conduct business with integrity. I never take advantage of anyone. If you don't believe me, Soup-drinker, feel free to file a complaint at the 12315 consumer hotline!"

Li Hetang was left speechless, his blood boiling with rage.

"You mangy mutt, are you trying to scam me? You charge by the thousands for labor, but when I teach you about the rainforest, you only deduct fifty cents?"

Xiao Yulou’s eyes gleamed with the golden luster of money.

"Ah... is there a problem with that?"

After a pause, Xiao Yulou continued.

"While I may not be a saint, I don't consider a few poison dart frogs and anacondas to be anything out of the ordinary. Without the diamond drill, how could I dare to slay the dragon?"

With such 'logical' testimony, Li Hetang could only stand there, fuming.

"You mangy mutt, do you think I own a bank? Do you think I can just print money?!"

Having said his piece, Xiao Yulou suddenly turned to Gu Mo, who was secretly amused, and said.

"As for the one thousand five hundred Brother Gu owes me, we must add the cost of the 'Nine-Orifice Exquisite Pill.' Otherwise, I’ll be operating at a loss!"

The smile on Gu Mo’s face froze instantly.

"You mangy mutt, you bastard! You tricked me with that generic herbal pill, and I haven't even settled that score with you yet. You have the nerve to charge me for medicine?"

Faced with this retort, Xiao Yulou, who only had money on his mind, raised an eyebrow and leaned toward Gu Mo.

"Brother Gu, are you trying to default on your labor fees? If you aren't satisfied, let's step outside and settle this!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Xiao Yulou sank into a stance, his golden Taoist energy surging forth.

Seeing this, Gu Mo had no choice but to call upon his own eerie ghost energy.

In an instant, Li Hetang’s small dormitory room lit up like a karaoke lounge, filled with two clashing, dazzling lights.

The small room had effectively become a new battlefield.

As the owner of the room, Li Hetang quietly placed his hand on the sidearm at his waist. If these two idiots really started fighting, his little pistol would be about as useful as a fire poker.

At the most critical moment, three knocks came at the door.

*Knock, knock, knock!*

Seeing someone was at the door, Gu Mo and Xiao Yulou simultaneously withdrew their energy and sat quietly on the bed, as if nothing had happened at all.

"Come in!"

As the door opened, Yu Kongcheng walked in with a solemn expression, looking at the three men in the room and sighing.

The three of them were completely bewildered.

Yu Kongcheng was a god of war who feared nothing. Within the 749 Provisions Company, those who dared to argue with him could be counted on one hand.

But this rascal’s sudden appearance had interrupted the showdown between Gu Mo and Xiao Yulou.

The next second, Yu Kongcheng, dressed in a white lab coat, sat down on a stool and said something truly shocking.

"Brothers, I think I'm in love!"

Hearing this, Gu Mo and Xiao Yulou simultaneously raised their eyebrows and looked toward Li Hetang at the door with sleazy expressions.

The implication was clear without a single word.

Had ‘Soup-drinker’ been beaten to the punch by Yu Kongcheng?

Li Hetang, under the gaze of Gu Mo and Xiao Yulou, felt as nervous as a bucket being lowered into a well.

Before Li Hetang could say anything, Yu Kongcheng sighed deeply again, staring at the cracks in the floor.

"Brother, what exactly is love? She is clearly so excellent and so enchanting. But why did I fall for a woman several years older than myself?"

Li Hetang’s heart sank. 'It's over, it's over! This rascal really has become my romantic rival!'

Suddenly, Gu Mo reached out and patted Yu Kongcheng on the shoulder, offering gentle advice.

"Little brother! Love knows no borders or age. Sometimes it even transcends racial taboos—what’s a few years difference?"

Yu Kongcheng suddenly looked up and stared straight at Gu Mo, his sharp gaze like that of a predator eyeing fresh prey.

"Brother Gu, then tell me, how should I deal with this rival?"

Gu Mo laughed heartily, looking at Li Hetang with malicious intent.

"If it were me, I’d challenge them to a duel. That’s the fairest way, and it fits your personality."

In a flash, Yu Kongcheng pulled two custom-made daggers from behind his back and handed them to Gu Mo.

"Brother, you said it yourself... let’s go outside and have a go!"

Gu Mo, hearing such bizarre lines and looking at the cold, glinting daggers in his hand, was completely stunned.

"What the f*ck? I don't even like Agent O! If anyone is going to fight, it should be you and 'Soup-drinker'!"

To his surprise, Yu Kongcheng looked Gu Mo straight in the eyes and explained the truth.

"Brother, I’m in love with Hua Qianyu!"

Hearing this, the three men in the room each had their own thoughts.

Gu Mo was completely baffled, having never expected things to turn out this way.

Xiao Yulou calmly played the role of an audience member, pulling cola and sunflower seeds from his sleeves.

Li Hetang breathed a huge sigh of relief; at the very least, one competitor was gone.

The next second, Gu Mo, his face twisted in disbelief, glared at Yu Kongcheng.

"Hey! What are you thinking, you husky? How could I possibly be your rival? I’m a married man..."

Yu Kongcheng was stunned: "Ah? Brother Gu is married?!"

Li Hetang, enjoying the show, stepped up to Yu Kongcheng and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Little brother~ it’s fine! Isn't she just a wanted criminal? You can just clear her record!"

Yu Kongcheng didn't offer much explanation, summarizing the previous events in a few words.

Gu Mo, hearing these incredulous things, cursed once more.

"What the f*ck! How did I get caught in the crossfire again?"