Chapter Thirty: Pacifying the Internal, Repelling the External, and Revitalizing the Realm

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The morning air was damp and slightly chilly. Yet Lu Liaoliao felt the cold sink all the way into her heart. This beauty was like a radish—crisp and delicious, utterly enchanting when tasted, but the moment you pulled it from the earth, all you found was a pit. She hadn’t even mentioned the valuable pearl, and instead, she had pounded her chest and sworn to help her avenge her father’s death, knowing nearly nothing about her enemy. After all those years learning to plan before acting, to know both oneself and the enemy for certain victory, she had still fallen into a trap right along with everyone else.

Truly, beauty was a dangerous temptation—too much of it, and not only would you tumble into a pit, but your back would ache, your waist would be sore, and you’d get caught. She rubbed her waist, smacked her lips, still savoring the memory of that intoxicating encounter. Turning thoughtfully, Lu Liaoliao addressed the young man chopping wood.

“Xiao Ningjiao! If you want to disguise yourself as a girl again, you’d better pay more attention. Your chest is far too flat.”

Ningjiao’s hand stopped mid-air, and he cast Lu Liaoliao a strange glance before looking down at his flat chest. Were you at the Apricot Pavilion to catch Lady Xihua, or just to ogle my chest?

“Next time, you can stuff two buns in there,” Lu Liaoliao said, sashaying off.

Ningjiao brought the axe down hard, but for once, it stuck in the thick log and didn’t split it in two.

All the while, she kept sniffing her clothes. Last night’s garments had been discarded far away; there was no strange scent on her. Only then did she feel somewhat reassured as she returned to the little courtyard.

The aroma of millet porridge made her stomach growl loudly. She headed straight for the dining hall, calling out, “Xiao Qi, I’m back!”

Tang Xiaoqi appeared in a flash, complaining, “Where have you been all night? Did you catch Lord Xihua?”

“Let me eat something first, then I’ll tell you everything,” Lu Liaoliao said, her hunger growing urgent.

Luoluo brought out a few bowls of golden millet porridge, while Tang Xiaoqi set some pastries on the table. The two girls, wide-eyed and charming, sat eagerly at the table, waiting for Lu Liaoliao to recount the tale of capturing the infamous Xihua.

Lu Liaoliao downed two bowls of porridge and kept stuffing pastries into her mouth. Tang Xiaoqi, concerned, said, “Slow down, slow down! You eat like you’ve been starving for days.”

Catching her breath, Lu Liaoliao replied, “I fought Lord Xihua for nearly an entire night, three hundred rounds—how could I not be hungry?”

The two girls’ eyes sparkled with excitement, rapt with anticipation.

Lu Liaoliao wiped her mouth, then began to narrate the events of the previous night in detail. She didn’t hide the first part, and the girls listened, spellbound and wide-eyed with shock.

When Lu Liaoliao showed the slightest sign of thirst, Tang Xiaoqi immediately brought her tea and hurriedly asked, “And then? After you separated from them, how did you end up running into Lord Xihua again?”

Before Lu Liaoliao could speak, the little nun wrinkled her nose and said, “That’s not right, Brother Liaoliao, you smell of women’s powder.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t even noticed it herself. How could this little nun’s nose be keener than Tang Xiaoqi’s, or even a puppy’s? Still, she put on a disdainful look. “You know where we went, right? The Apricot Pavilion, where the courtesan Yang Xing’er stays. If you don’t come out smelling of powder, you’d be too embarrassed to meet anyone.”

Realizing she sounded naïve, the little nun hung her head in silence. Tang Xiaoqi, however, was annoyed. “So what if you went to the courtesan’s room? Picking up the scent of those vixens, look how pleased you are with yourself.”

“What are you saying? No scent in the world could compare to how wonderful my Xiao Qi smells,” Lu Liaoliao quickly flattered her.

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Tang Xiaoqi lowered her head and sniffed herself. “After all this medicine, I don’t smell bad anymore.”

The little nun couldn’t help but giggle, making both girls blush bright red.

“When I parted ways with them, I was heading home alone. Just as I left the Hundred Flowers Brothel, I caught sight of a few shadows beneath a flowering tree. I shouted, ‘Who goes there? Show yourselves to your Lord Lu!’”

From the flowers emerged three men, their eyes fierce. It was Xihua and his two accomplices. But who am I, Lu Liaoliao? Would I be afraid of a few petty scoundrels?

“Lord Xihua, there is a road to heaven you refuse to walk, but you barge into hell instead. Now that you’ve met me, Lord Lu, why not surrender at once!”

To his credit, Xihua showed some loyalty. He waved for one of his men to take the wounded accomplice and flee, staying behind alone to face me. But Xihua was no match for me. After only a few rounds, he was already struggling.

What I didn’t expect was that, for all his reputation, Xihua would fight so shamelessly. Suddenly, his moves turned sly and indecent—grabbing, twisting, all sorts of underhanded tricks. I hadn’t been away from the mountain long, so I lacked experience, and for a moment I was thrown into chaos.

Pressed hard, I abandoned caution and started using some ruthless moves of my own. For a while, we were locked in a fierce duel, evenly matched.

As dawn approached, neither of us had won. We both retreated and went home.”

Lu Liaoliao acted out the most exciting parts as she spoke, while the two girls listened, utterly enthralled.

“But if there was no winner, why did you suddenly stop fighting?” the little nun asked, blinking with curiosity.

“Because we were hungry! I had no grudge against Xihua, and after fighting all night, our stomachs were empty—why fight to the death? Besides, meeting a worthy opponent after all those hours, there was a bit of mutual respect, don’t you think?”

Lu Liaoliao spread her hands, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The girls nodded in agreement, as if that made perfect sense.

Tang Xiaoqi, still worried, asked, “Did you get hurt fighting Xihua all night?”

Lu Liaoliao’s back still ached where Xihua had scratched her, but she shook her head silently. “No.”

She slept through the day until nightfall, and when she woke, the girls had already prepared a lavish dinner. After washing up, Lu Liaoliao entered the dining hall to find Wuhua, the little monk, sitting there with a dark expression.

All through the meal, Lu Liaoliao couldn’t resist casting smug glances at Wuhua, who kept turning his head away. Rubbing her full belly, Lu Liaoliao said slowly, “Now that we’ve lost favor with those noble sons, we can’t stay in this courtyard. Tomorrow, tell the little priest, and let’s find an inn instead.”

Tang Xiaoqi replied angrily, “Move! I never wanted to stay here. The way those people look down their noses at us, as if their tails are about to curl up over their heads. Just because they were born into noble families—what do they have to be so proud about?”

The little nun, now more comfortable with everyone, looked up at Lu Liaoliao with a mischievous grin. “Hehe, I think Brother Liaoliao is proud too. Those people wear their pride on the surface, but yours is in your bones.”

Lu Liaoliao’s lips curled in a sneer. “Proud? Am I that shallow?”

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Wuhua, unable to bear her arrogance any longer, slammed down his bowl and chopsticks and stormed into the courtyard to get some fresh air. Little did he know, Lu Liaoliao followed close behind, teacup in hand.

Lowering her voice, she asked leisurely, “Charming Monk Wuhua, where’s your sister? She isn’t still sleeping at the brothel, is she?”

Anyone would be furious if someone kept pestering them about their beautiful sister after what had happened. Wuhua’s eyes blazed with anger as he glared at Lu Liaoliao. “She left for Mianzhou at noon and will be back tomorrow.”

Lu Liaoliao nodded. “So she’s trying to draw their attention to Mianzhou, then double back. What’s her next move?”

“She plans to pose as Lan’er’s maid. Once Lan’er recovers, she’ll accompany Yang Xing’er to the capital, Chang’an,” Wuhua answered sullenly.

“Looks like your sister’s learned a thing or two. The simplest plans are the most effective—she’s far more capable than you, little monk.”

“She’s only an hour older than me, yet she always insists on taking charge, acting like she’s the big sister,” Wuhua protested.

“An hour is still older, isn’t it? Understand?” Lu Liaoliao rapped him lightly on his shaved head.

Wuhua turned away in annoyance. “Maybe I should just call you brother-in-law out loud, see how you like it!”

Lu Liaoliao quickly clamped a hand over Wuhua’s mouth. “No rush, no rush. Let me secure things at home first.”

Wuhua, feeling indignant for his sister, said mockingly, “Is Miss Xiao Qi really so terrifying? Look at you, such a coward.”

Lu Liaoliao waved her hands, signaling for Wuhua to keep quiet, and whispered, “You don’t understand. For a man to achieve greatness, he must first secure his home before dealing with external threats.”

“Bah! I’ve never met anyone as shameless as you. Boasting in front of those girls about fighting Xihua for three hundred rounds—and they actually believed you. Have you no shame?” Wuhua spat contemptuously.

Clearly, the little nun Luoluo had relayed her version of events to Wuhua. This nun truly couldn’t keep anything to herself when it came to her beloved little monk.

But Lu Liaoliao was unfazed, regarding Wuhua calmly. “And I suppose I’ve never seen a little monk baring his chest outside Lan’er’s door at the brothel. Isn’t that shameful?”

“That was to cover for my sister!” Wuhua retorted angrily.

“Who can say for sure?” Lu Liaoliao gazed up at the sky.

Wuhua was speechless for a long moment before finally saying, “My sister rented a small courtyard nearby. She won’t be staying there for now, but if you want to move, we can go there.” With that, he stormed off, leaving Lu Liaoliao behind.