Chapter Seventy-Six: The Longest Day

Early the next morning, before I had even gotten out of bed, I received a phone call for no apparent reason. I pressed the receiver to my ear and said "hello" over and over, but there was no response. Just as I was about to hang up, a faint sigh finally drifted through the line.

Though the sound was soft, I immediately sensed something was wrong. "Haozi!?" I blurted out without hesitation.

After a moment of silence, a voice at last spoke: "It's me..."

"You idiot, what are you up to?" Haozi's strange behavior puzzled me. What was he playing at, pretending to be dead in broad daylight? Had he eaten too much and lost his mind? But it was barely morning! Truly incomprehensible.

"Xiaobei, there's something I want to tell you..." Haozi seemed hesitant, unable to get the words out.

"Come on, just say it. What's the matter?" This was nothing like Haozi's usual behavior. In all my memories, he'd never been this indecisive.

"You... you have to promise me first... promise you won't do anything... anything foolish..." Haozi's voice trembled without pause, and his anxiety infected me, making me nervous as well.

"For god's sake! What is it? Just speak!" His stammering unsettled me; my heart was caught in my throat and it was unbearable.

"Xiaobei... I... I..." The voice on the line was broken, almost incoherent.

A vague sense of dread crept into my heart, but no matter how I urged him, Haozi couldn't squeeze out a complete sentence. I've known him for fourteen years, and today I saw a side of him I had never seen before.

"Damn it! Don't tell me you're heartbroken? Alright, don't get too down, I'll take you out for a drink tonight!" Despite my anxiety, I tried to joke with him.

There was another silence. Haozi seemed to be calming himself, then let out a long breath and spoke, word by word: "It's Lele. Lele's in trouble."

"What?" His words turned my mind blank in an instant. I echoed in disbelief, "In trouble? What kind of trouble? Haozi, what kind of joke is this? Are you out of your mind..."

He anticipated my reaction and didn't address my agitation, but choked out, "Yesterday... yesterday, around four in the afternoon... her car went into the Min River..."

At that, my mind felt as if it had exploded, and tears flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks. I couldn't help but shout into the phone, "What about Lele? Tell me what happened to her, hurry!"

"Xiaobei?" Hearing my cries, my mother pushed open the door and walked in, but when she saw the tears on my face, she quietly withdrew and closed the door behind her.

"Still... still not found... but hope... hope is slim..." Haozi answered mechanically.

His weak voice sparked a sudden doubt in me. "No! No! Haozi, how do you know?" He must be joking! Though my self-reassurance was feeble, it was the only straw I could grasp at the moment.

"Lele's cousin... her cousin just called me..." Haozi's explanation only confused me further.

"Cousin? Since when does Lele have a cousin? I never knew that!" I tried to compose myself. "Even if she does, why wouldn't she come to me directly? Why call you? Enough, Haozi! This isn't funny!"

Faced with my barrage of questions, Haozi struggled to explain, "It's Lele's older cousin. After all... after all, she's not familiar with you... some things are hard to say..." He sighed slightly, then tried to comfort me, "Xiaobei, what's done is done, you mustn't..."

I don't even know how I hung up the phone. Stumbling to my feet, my tear-blurred vision made everything hazy. I staggered to the wardrobe, then to the door, finally sliding down against it to sit on the floor.

Lele, are you really gone? Weren't you always saying you were indestructible, that even God couldn't do anything to you?

Was that night by West Lake our farewell? Lele, please tell me, tell me none of this is real...

The cold floor jolted my chaotic mind and I suddenly remembered something. Almost crawling, I made my way back to the phone, grabbed the receiver and desperately dialed that all-too-familiar number.

Lele, I remember every time I called you, you always answered instantly, never making me wait for even a second. I would listen to your voice, nervous and happy, then tell you everything that happened at school. But now, why won't you answer? Lele, please, pick up!

"I'm sorry, the number you dialed cannot be reached at the moment. Please try again later..." Unwilling to give up, I redialed more than ten times, but the gentle voice kept echoing in my ear. At this moment, it sounded terrifying. In the end, I gave up...

"I once imagined a scene on the bus: the vehicle skids off the road at a turn and plunges into the Pacific. What would I do in those five seconds before sinking? I would call you, hear you say 'hello,' and let you listen to the sound of seaweed, of fish, and the cry of my soul for a lifetime..." Sitting numbly at the edge of my pillow, Lele's message in my online space before she left surfaced in my mind. I never expected it would actually come true.

Lele, was this your prophecy? I questioned the air, the ceiling, and Lele, wherever she might be.

I locked myself in my room all day, didn't eat, not that I could have anyway. As dusk fell outside the window, I finally decided to go out for a walk.

"Xiaobei..." Seeing me leave my room, my mother hurriedly stood up from the sofa and called out to me in concern. My father followed, gently pulling her back and patting her shoulder...

The night was dark and heavy, as was my mood.

Sitting quietly by the riverbank, I looked up at the enchanting night sky, the stars seeming almost within reach. Yet the girl who once stood by the statue not far away, calling out to me, was nowhere to be found.

Gradually, the conversation we once had here echoed in my ears:

"What a beautiful night sky!"

"I just don't see what's so beautiful about it."

"You shortsighted fool! Imagine if human life could be as eternal as the stars—how wonderful that would be!"

"Lele, you're speaking nonsense again."

"Haha, maybe. But even stars can't live forever. Take shooting stars, for example—beautiful, but gone in an instant... Maybe I'm just a shooting star."

...

I longed to cross the border of sorrow and hold you tight, yet feared my movement would make you vanish without a trace. Perhaps in the moment of possession, today's loss was already destined.

Longing permeated my heart...

(Chapter revised on 2010.10.8)