Chapter 150: Selfish Motives

It was already night by the time Lu Zhou took a car from the airport back to his rented apartment.

He was so exhausted he couldn't even be bothered to unpack, simply tossing his luggage aside and pulling out his phone to call his parents and let them know he had arrived safely.

Qin Fang, finally connecting with her son and hearing that he was back in the country, could not suppress her gossipy soul and fired off a series of questions about the show. She naturally had to ask why he hadn't chosen to walk away with any of the girls, why he hadn't confessed to Ye Fangfei, and whether he had retreated because he felt inferior in front of her.

Lu Zhou fobbed her off with the excuse that "it's not the right time for a relationship." He was too tired to chat for long and hung up.

After taking his pajamas into the bathroom for a shower, he felt a bit more refreshed. His apartment, fitted with soundproofing foam, was deathly quiet, so he turned on the TV to add some noise. He leaned back on the sofa, scrolling through his phone while drying his damp hair with a towel.

A new message popped up on Wetalk. He opened it to see Pan Chengyi asking when he would be back in the country.

He typed back: "Already back."

Pan Chengyi: "Are you free tomorrow? Want to come out and catch up?"

Lu Zhou: "Let’s skip tomorrow. I need to rest for a couple of days; I'm wiped out."

Pan Chengyi: "Fair enough."

Lu Zhou got up to grab the hairdryer. Just then, the sound of the evening news came from the TV.

"Latest economic bulletin: Yesterday, the Gaosheng Group announced that it would represent three entrusted shareholders in initiating a 'Letter to All Shareholders of Yichuang Group'..."

Lu Zhou’s steps faltered. He, who hadn't been paying attention to the news, finally turned to look at the screen.

On the business channel, the news footage showed the leadership of Gaosheng Group. Lu Zhou had no trouble spotting a face that was both familiar and strange.

His hand, still gripping the dry towel, clenched into a fist, his veins bulging.

Gao Ting'an, the founder of Gaosheng Group.

The first time Lu Zhou had seen Gao Ting'an in this life was on that day during the show, while they were on a luxury cruise ship headed toward Black Island. He and Ye Fangfei had just listened to a breathtaking orchestral performance, and Gao Ting'an, who had been sitting in the center seat of the audience, stood up gracefully and raised a glass to greet Ye Fangfei, who was beside Lu Zhou.

They knew each other, though they didn't seem close. That was Lu Zhou’s only impression of Gao Ting'an at the time.

Back then, Lu Zhou hadn't known who the man was. It wasn't until a long nightmare on a helicopter triggered the awakening of his memories that Lu Zhou realized the dream wasn't a vision of the future, but a recollection of the past—everything he had once experienced.

Then, he finally knew the name of the man on the cruise ship, the man who had chartered the entire luxury vessel for a vacation and hired a top-tier orchestra to perform for his voyage: Gao Ting'an.

In his previous life, Lu Zhou had only truly met Gao Ting'an twice.

The first time was on that cruise ship.

The second time was through iron bars—he was inside, and the other man was outside.

Lu Zhou still had a vivid, bone-deep impression of that scene. Gao Ting'an had sat across from him, lit a cigarette, exhaled slowly, and studied him with eyes that seemed to see right through him.

"With such talent, it’s truly a pity to end up like this."

That was the first sentence he had spoken to Lu Zhou. With the smoke curling around his mouth, Lu Zhou couldn't clearly see his expression.

"She begged me to help you."

"Since she’s spoken up, I’ll lower my standards and help you once."

"If you truly love her, don't let her kindness go to waste. Clean up this mess, and after you get out, go anywhere you like—just don't appear in front of her again."

He had chuckled softly, extinguished his cigarette, and risen to leave, only to pause a few steps away and look back.

"Oh, by the way, I took care of your ex-girlfriend too. You're welcome."

He walked away, leaving behind an insulting silhouette.

Later, Lu Zhou realized that this man, whom he had met only twice in that life, was the mastermind behind it all.

The economic news on TV moved on to the next headline. Lu Zhou suppressed the anger rising within him, turned off the TV, and went back to drying his hair.

He hadn't originally been a part of Gao Ting'an’s dark map, but because he had made his feelings for Ye Fangfei so public, they became the entertainment industry's recognized "top-tier sweet couple." That, presumably, was why he had caught Gao Ting'an's attention.

Back then, Lu Zhou had been obsessed only with art. He had no interest in business and didn't care much for money; his earnings were either donated to charity or poured into music and stage productions. He was busy trying to make up for the regrets of his first life, busy enjoying his romance with Ye Fangfei. The sudden reversal had left him stunned. He first heard Gao Ting'an’s name from Ye Fangfei.

By then, things had reached an irreversible point, and she was crying as she asked to break up. The day they officially announced their split, the entertainment industry was rocked.

Lu Zhou had thought that was the end of the nightmare, never expecting there to be more. He had fallen into a trap without even knowing it, his foundations too weak to resist. When he lost everything, he felt like a joke.

Destroying him was as easy for Gao Ting'an as crushing an ant. Why force him into such a dead end? That was likely just Gao Ting'an’s twisted nature.

But in the end, Gao Ting'an had spared him. Lu Zhou figured that while Ye Fangfei’s plea was one reason, the main one was that he had never been on the demon's main chessboard to begin with; he had just been caught in the crossfire. Gao Ting'an simply hadn't considered him a threat worth exterminating.

If he wanted to avoid being implicated in this life, Lu Zhou could choose not to provoke Ye Fangfei. He could stick to his music, treat the past as a fading storm, and stop worrying about the lives of others.

But he couldn't stand by and watch her fall into the mud. He hadn't been able to protect her in his past life—in fact, he had become the very leverage used against her—and in this life, he wanted to prevent that tragedy.

Once his hair was dry, Lu Zhou went to bed.

Just then, a new message arrived. He picked up his phone and saw a new chat window with the prompt: [You have added FiFi as a friend, you can start chatting now].

Lu Zhou stared at the screen for two seconds, then let out a breath and smiled.

She had finally accepted.

He immediately sent a sticker of a kitten peeking out to say hello.

Lu Zhou: [I thought you wouldn't accept my request.]

A moment later, the chat showed the other party was typing.

FiFi: [???]

FiFi: [Then why did you send it?]

Lu Zhou smiled at the screen and typed: [Had to try.]

Across the screen, Ye Fangfei was also lying on her bed, staring at the new reply. She let out a small huff and typed back.

Ye Fangfei: [Why are you adding me?]

Lu Zhou: [I have a reason.]

After sending that, Lu Zhou tossed his phone aside, scrambled out of bed, dug his laptop out of his suitcase, and hopped back into bed, sitting cross-legged to work.

He booted up his music production software and exported a track he had prepared earlier. He then logged into the desktop version of Wetalk and dragged the file into the chat with "FiFi," hitting Enter.

Once the upload was complete, he typed:

[Back in the RV, you said you liked this arrangement of "Say No."]

[I finished it in MIDI. Sending it to you.]

[If you think you can use it, you could have a musician record a live version.]

After sending the message, there was a long silence from Ye Fangfei’s side.

Lu Zhou wasn't in a hurry. He put the laptop on his nightstand and lay back down with his phone, waiting.

A few minutes later, his phone vibrated. Ye Fangfei had replied.

Ye Fangfei: [You're back in the country?]

Lu Zhou: [Yes, just got home and finished settling things.]

Ye Fangfei: [You finished the arrangement the moment you got back?]

Lu Zhou: [No, I worked on it on the plane.]

Ye Fangfei: [I thought you had a clone.]

Ye Fangfei: [I just listened to it. It’s quite good. I'll try this version at my next concert.]

Ye Fangfei: [Thanks.]

Lu Zhou: [Just a small favor.]

After that message, a long silence followed.

It was a subtle feeling, and he knew it. They had participated in a dating show together and developed feelings for each other, yet neither had clearly confessed their true heart. Filled with tentative probing and expectations, they reached the final episode without either taking that final step.

It was as if they knew what the other was thinking, but were too afraid to confirm if their guesses were correct. Ye Fangfei was like that, and so was Lu Zhou.

Lu Zhou knew that choosing not to confess would definitely disappoint her, but he felt he had a handle on whether that disappointment was truly irreparable—though he still couldn't guarantee it.

For now, he didn't plan to enter the public eye with her as a couple, not even in private. Hiding a relationship in the entertainment industry, where eyes were everywhere? That didn't exist. Even if they could hide it from the audience, they couldn't hide it from those around them. There were no airtight walls in this world; who was the mole?

Besides, Ye Fangfei wouldn't agree to hide it. She wasn't the type to do things under the table. If he really proposed that, she would surely ask for the reason. How would he explain it?

Should he say, "I don't think I'm good enough for you yet, let's go public when I am"? She would surely retort, "I think you're good enough, so you are."

Or should he just blurt out, "I was reborn, and in my past life, Gao Ting'an ruined us so badly that I'm trying to keep a low profile to avoid his attention"?

If he really said that, Ye Fangfei would probably look at him like he was a monster. She would surely ask with a look of confusion, "How do you know Gao Ting'an? Why would he want to ruin us?"

She might even take him to see a psychiatrist.

It was complicated.

So, Lu Zhou felt the safest approach was to stay friends. But he had selfish motives; even if he wanted to change the tragic ending, he didn't want to appear in her life as a stranger. He still hoped that in this life, the man she loved would still be him.

If he had been given a second chance, only for her to fall for someone else, then this life would have been a waste.

That was why, in the latter half of the show, he had still provoked her. Call him selfish or manipulative—he had wanted to return to her side in a better way, to make up for the greatest regret of his previous life.

Now that the show was over, Ye Fangfei surely had some lingering resentment, but the fact that she accepted his friend request meant there was still a chance. If he didn't resolve that resentment, it would be difficult to get close to her in the future.

Actually, right after the show ended, he had wanted to talk to her, but there were too many people around, and she was emotional and didn't linger at the scene. There had been no good chance to communicate.

A day had passed now, and he believed they had both sorted through their emotions.

[Are you angry with me?]

After much hesitation, Lu Zhou finally sent the message.

A minute or two passed before she replied. She sent a confused sticker.

Lu Zhou: [Being locked in that kind of show environment easily creates the suspension bridge effect. I thought we should both return to reality and think clearly. We shouldn't make impulsive choices in that environment, which is why I made that decision at the time.]

Lu Zhou: [If it's okay with you, can we continue to be friends without any hard feelings?]

After sending these two messages, there was a brief silence before she replied.

Ye Fangfei: [If not friends, what else do you want to be?]

Lu Zhou: [Stunned.GIF]

Ye Fangfei: [The choices we made at the time, let's call it even.]

Seeing her final message, Lu Zhou finally exhaled in relief.

Lu Zhou: [As expected of you.GIF]

Lu Zhou: [A person with a heart as vast as a prime minister's.GIF]

On the other end, Ye Fangfei, lying on her bed, saw the two silly stickers Lu Zhou sent. The corners of her mouth curled up, and she typed back:

[Not really, I don't actually have that much capacity for forgiveness.]

[After all, Zhang Chen is still on my blacklist.]

Lu Zhou couldn't help but laugh at the mention of "Zhang Chen."

Lu Zhou: [Pure curiosity, what serious thing did he do to make you block him?]

Ye Fangfei: [He was just too noisy.]

Ye Fangfei: [Even when I didn't reply, he would send me 99+ messages a day.]

Lu Zhou: [...]

Ye Fangfei: [Shrug.GIF]

Ye Fangfei: [So I had no choice but to block him.]

Lu Zhou: [Haha.GIF]

Lu Zhou: [Well done.]

...

In another part of Jinghua City, Zhang Chen, who had also returned home, suddenly let out a massive sneeze.

He rubbed his nose and continued to put on a dejected face, enduring his mother's lecture.

"Cheer up!" Jiang Yuanyuan gave Zhang Chen’s head a firm rub and criticized, "Your father said he never really expected you and Ye Fangfei to work out anyway, so there's no need to look like such a defeated bear. You didn't cause your father much disappointment this time."

Zhang Chen’s mouth twitched. Hearing this didn't make him feel comforted; it just made him furious.

"Since he looked down on me from the start, why make me go on that damn show and be a laughingstock for the whole country?!"

Jiang Yuanyuan reached up and covered his mouth. "Keep your voice down, your father will hear you."

"Let him hear! He wrote me off, can't I even be angry?" Zhang Chen fumed.

"Your father didn't write you off; he just wanted you to gain some experience. Otherwise, why would he spend all that effort and money?" Jiang Yuanyuan said in a low, soothing voice.

"Mom, I'm not stupid. Don't try to smooth it over for him. He spent that money because he wanted to marry into the Ye family to patch up our shortcomings. Who are you trying to fool?" Zhang Chen said, holding back his temper.

Jiang Yuanyuan choked. "It was both, really. If you two could have worked out, it would have been the best of both worlds. The fact that the marriage didn't happen isn't your fault; Ye Fangfei just wasn't into you."

"I wasn't into her either!" Zhang Chen said, his anger subsiding slightly.

Jiang Yuanyuan: "..."

She studied her son for a moment and burst out laughing. "You weren't into her? You seemed pretty obsessed with her on the show."

"That was an act!" Zhang Chen stretched his neck out. "Didn't you say to build a persona of a devoted, heartbroken ex-boyfriend? I acted pretty well, didn't I?"

Jiang Yuanyuan: "How much of it was acting, you know yourself."

Zhang Chen: "It really was acting, but I can't say I didn't like her at all. She's quite charming, but too overbearing. I can endure it for a moment, but a lifetime? I definitely couldn't stand her temper."

Jiang Yuanyuan: "True. It's better that it didn't work out; saves you from a chaotic life."

Reflecting on his performance, Zhang Chen began to feel narcissistic. "Mom, I think my acting is good enough for movies. Should I invest in a movie to play around with?"

Jiang Yuanyuan: "..."

"Stop messing around. Plan things before you do them. How much of your father's investment have you already wasted? How much have you earned back?"

Zhang Chen: "..." He was speechless.

...

Li Jiayan was also being lectured by her parents.

Back home, exhausted, she was grilled by her parents.

"Even if you wanted to win back your ex-boyfriend, you didn't have to lower your status so much. Crying and begging on the show, don't you feel embarrassed? If I had known you would be like that, I never would have let you go on that show."

Li Jiayan's mother scolded her with a stern face.

Li Jiayan was already in a bad mood, and being told this by her mother made her eyes redden instantly, her emotions flaring.

"How was I embarrassing?" she roared back.

"Please, can you stop trying to hold me to your own standards of what's acceptable?"

"If you hadn't strongly opposed it back then, he would have been my man long ago. Would I need to be fighting someone else for him now?"

Li Jiayan completely lost control, tears streaming down her face. Having been through so much on the show, her emotions were already frayed, and this was the breaking point. She felt deeply wronged.

Her parents were shocked into silence.

After a long pause, her father broke the silence.

"Yan'yan, you sometimes think of things too idealistically."

"After experiencing the grind of society, people become realistic. Don't think you can be the exception."

"Do you really think if we hadn't stopped you back then, that your ex-boyfriend—who accomplished nothing in the entertainment industry for so many years—wouldn't have had conflicts with you? That you wouldn't have broken up?"

"Love without bread—how long do you think that lasts?"

"Now that he’s gained fame through a show and you see his promising future, you subconsciously assume that if you hadn't broken up back then, everything would have been fine for all these years, right?"

"Fine. Let's assume you would never change your heart toward him. But what about him? Would he always stay true to you? He's popular now. Look at the show—how many women were interested in him? Are you sure he’s really that devoted to you?"

Li Jiayan gradually calmed down; her father’s words weren't without merit.

"It's no use talking about this now. He didn't choose me."

She stopped talking to her parents and locked herself in her room.

Her father's words echoed in her ears, and Lu Zhou's rejection on the show—"I'm no longer the 18-year-old Lu Zhou"—kept repeating in her mind.

Yes, nobody was who they were back then. And her father wasn't wrong: if Lu Zhou stood higher and had to look down to see her, could she really still enter his heart?

A thought suddenly occurred to Li Jiayan: She could stand higher, too.