Volume 1, Chapter 35: Brother Xiaofeng Gets Bristled

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[Admin] Evening Breeze: Go to hell, you bastard.

[Admin] Alan: That was way too much. I can't let that slide.

[Evening Breeze] sent the streamer Moon-Filled Star River ×5

[Evening Breeze] sent the streamer Abyssal Dragon ×15 (47,861 Cat Coins)

[Alan] sent the streamer Immortal Sword Strike ×10 (48,960 Cat Coins)

“Abyssal Dragon” was an interactive battle gift. Whenever it was sent, a Western dragon would fly out of a pool of magma and breathe fire in the current livestream, while the screens in the other livestreams would show flames engulfing their streamers. Thirty seconds later, the streamer on the opposing side would appear with an enormous afro that remained for five seconds.

“Immortal Sword Strike” was another interactive battle gift. In the current livestream, a gigantic immortal would fly on a sword toward a mountain. The sword would suddenly multiply and shoot toward the other livestreams, filling their screens with shattering effects.

[Sang You: He’s done for. The Consort is literally blowing his top.]

[Lots of Fish: Honestly, even if it’s just part of the show, listening to that still makes me angry.]

[To the Clouds: Brother Evening Breeze is genuinely furious this round.]

[Nan Sheng’s mouth is really asking for it. Who was it that said Yifan had the foulest mouth?]

[I’m dying laughing. Someone get Nan Sheng’s big sister to sew that filthy mouth shut.]

[There’s technically nothing wrong with it. It’s just that our princess’s big brother is too protective of his own.]

[Nan Sheng, you kicked the princess. You really picked the wrong fight.]

Yu Yansui watched the three men sporting their enormous afros and laughed so hard she nearly doubled over. “Hahaha—this gift is way too funny! You brothers are amazing!”

Putting on a swagger, Yu Yansui imitated the pair’s ticket-begging routine. With her hands on her hips, she said viciously, “Brother Yifan, you really are hopeless. If your brothers and sisters don’t have any tickets to play with, what are you doing livestreaming? With that pitiful score of yours, don’t come play with us anymore. We can’t afford to lose face like this. I’ll give you a chance: one minute—no, two minutes—to beg for tickets. If you can’t bring in enough, you’ll do five squats.”

[Hahaha, the princess’s attempt at ferocity is completely ineffective.]

[A kitten getting angry—who are you trying to enchant?]

[She’s already put it that way. Yifan, just do the squats for the princess.]

Xianyin covered her mouth and giggled at Yu Yansui. During a battle, the person with the lower score was not allowed to speak unless the person in first place addressed them and gave them permission to solicit votes. If they made a sound, they had to accept a punishment.

Yifan shouted himself hoarse for two minutes. His score rose considerably, but he still failed to overtake Yu Yansui, so he began performing his squats with a miserable expression.

The three men could not help marveling at Yu Yansui’s score, already in the millions even without using a card. A top female spender really was something else, and the firepower of a beloved big brother from her own household was extraordinary.

Yu Yansui’s dark eyelashes fluttered like tiny fans as she pondered whom to taunt next.

Xianyin slipped a chicken-head glove onto one hand and covered her mouth with the other. The chicken head kept squawking, “Carnival! Carnival! I want a Carnival!” The comedic effect was perfect.

Nan Sheng leaned toward the screen and made a gesture asking for gifts, his gaze as solemn and determined as if he were swearing allegiance.

“Nan Sheng! Didn’t you say your household had lots of beloved sisters? How did you end up in third place? Did your Sasa Sister get so angry at how useless you look that she abandoned you? Sui-sui won’t make things difficult for you either. I’ll help you ask for some tickets.”

This was too cute!

Nan Sheng: “Sasa Sister, Kitty Sister, please help Shengsheng! Those of you who can send gifts, send some. Don’t let me lose face in front of Sui-sui.”

[Admin] Sasa: You’re hopeless. I’ve decided to go over to the other side.

[Admin] Little Wildcat: The girl on the other side is too adorable. I can’t bring myself to attack her.

With his own big sister leading the charge to defect to the opposing side, Nan Sheng wailed without end and resigned himself to silence.

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Wasn’t she supposed to be soliciting tickets? Could it be that she had not been enthusiastic enough? Why else would Nan Sheng’s sisters refuse to send him gifts?

Maybe she still was not fierce enough. It had to be that.

Yu Yansui turned her attention to Xianyin’s big brother, Changye. Raising her voice, she took out the party-popper cannon she had bought the day before and assumed an aggressive stance, as if she were pointing it at Changye and Xianyin’s noses while cursing them.

“Xianyin Sister, what’s wrong with your Brother Changye? Is he determined to remain second place for ten thousand years? Can’t he work a little harder and overtake Brother Little Breeze? And what about your Brother Fuze? Didn’t you say he was the Emperor of Ze? If you have what it takes, send a Carnival. Otherwise, you’re just Little Ze. I’m giving you permission to overtake us!”

This time, Yu Yansui’s taunt seemed to hit exactly where it needed to. Changye immediately sent thirty Carnivals and truly did overtake them.

Seeing the health bar being pushed down, Yu Yansui looked extremely proud, as if it proved how powerful her taunting skills were.

“How was that? Isn’t my taunting ability incredible?”

[Admin] Changye: Remember this: Evening Breeze is my son. He’s the one who’s been second place for ten thousand years! ×5 (golden scrolling banner across the entire livestream)

[Admin] Alan: Adorable.

[What an immortal move.]

[That taunt landed perfectly.]

[Let’s politely interview the person involved.]

[May we ask what the Consort thinks?]

[Admin] Evening Breeze: Wait until you die, you wretched son. (golden scrolling banner across the entire livestream)

[Let them fight! Let them fight! (waving both hands)]

[The situation has now turned into a battle to see who can become the father.]

[This is getting ridiculous.]

Yu Yansui watched the comments veer completely off course. The only person who had answered her had given her an answer she found deeply unsatisfactory, and she grew furious.

“I’ll kill all of you with this party-popper cannon! Could you at least consider my feelings? I’m really angry now. There’s no calming me down!”

[Admin] Alan: Sorry, I misspoke. Sui-sui’s little mouth has limitless attack power. Applause!

[Sang You: Yes, yes, you’re right. Applause.]

[To the Clouds: (perfunctory) Limitless attack power.]

[Lots of Fish: This whole mess is the Consort’s fault.]

[We support Fishie.]

[The wife has spoken.]

[Admin] Evening Breeze: ???

During the final two minutes, the four of them stopped bickering and all muted their microphones to concentrate on soliciting tickets. The big brothers and big sisters from all three households sent gifts with great enthusiasm.

They were all top streamers on Seven Meow, and none of them lacked strength.

As Alan had said, Evening Breeze would be the one to defend the tower in the end. It was a defense charged with old grievances.

[Evening Breeze] sent the streamer Moon-Filled Star River ×15 (58,888 Cat Coins)

[Evening Breeze] sent the streamer Heart of the Universe ×10 (18,888 Cat Coins)

[Evening Breeze] sent the streamer Rose Tribute ×10 (30,000 Cat Coins)

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Announcement: Congratulations to “Evening Breeze” for raising his fan badge to Level 25 in “Yan Suisui’s” livestream, becoming the first user in her livestream to obtain a max-level fan badge.

[Holy crap! He took it instantly?]

[The Consort is supreme!]

[The Night Emperor is going to cry again.]

[The Night Emperor lost to speed. I just came over from Xianyin’s livestream—his ten Myriad Blossoms all fell to the ground.]

[Poor Night.]

[A max-level fan badge, one of a kind.]

[“The Breeze That Brushes Against the Swallow”—supreme!]

[Mom, the couple I ship is real!]

Yu Yansui picked up the party-popper cannon, twisted it open, and fired twenty rounds in succession. Purple petals now covered her head.

“Brother Little Breeze, you’re so handsome! Sui-sui really likes Brother Little Breeze. Kiss, kiss!”

[Admin] Alan: @Evening Breeze Congratulations.

[Admin] Evening Breeze: Who else? (golden scrolling banner across the livestream)

Xianyin gave a thumbs-up. “Father Evening Breeze is vicious. My side used four critical-hit cards and still couldn’t beat him.”

Yifan: “I’m convinced again tonight.”

Nan Sheng: “Strong. Truly strong. I’m impressed.”

Xianyin: “One, two punish three and four. Yifan and Nan Sheng, shouldn’t you two give him something big?”

In these rounds, the usual arrangement was for contestant one to punish contestant three, and contestant two to punish contestant four. Yu Yansui would punish Nan Sheng, while Xianyin would punish Yifan.

Yu Yansui thought for a moment. “Nan Sheng, just make a phone call. Whoever answers, you have to imitate the way they speak for one minute. If you fail, come over here and send me a large command gift packet saying: ‘Congratulations to the Consort on reaching a max-level fan badge. The Consort is the finest consort in all the world.’”

[Sang You: Raise high the banner of “The Breeze That Brushes Against the Swallow.”]

[Lots of Fish: The princess’s favorite really is the Consort, isn’t he?]

[Has the Consort turned into a smug little bird yet?]

[Admin] Evening Breeze: [emoji] ([emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji] [emoji]) [emoji]

Nan Sheng: “Sui-sui is so good to her big brother. Fine, I’ll make the call.”

In truth, Nan Sheng had no confidence at all. As long as the person he called did not hang up while he was imitating them, it should be fine—but keeping it up for a full minute would be difficult, which sharply limited his choices.

He could only call one of his brothers or his older sister.

But with his sister’s personality, he did not even dare imagine what might happen. No wonder people said that younger brothers were their sisters’ lifelong servants.

As for his brothers, on an ordinary day they could never even agree on which of them was the father.

Nan Sheng picked up his phone, made up his mind, and dialed.

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