Chapter 47: The Corpse Hag

I asked, "What?"

Fatty Dong retorted, "Do you know what animal likes carrying shit on its back?"

I replied, "Dong Chuan."

Fatty Dong snapped angrily, "Can you take this seriously for once?!"

I was somewhat speechless, "Who isn't being serious? We were talking about ghost hands, why on earth are you dragging dung beetles into this?"

Fatty Dong scratched his head.

"Talking to you is such hard work! My point is, every creature in heaven and earth has its preferences. Dung beetles like carrying shit, and corpse hags like carrying corpses!"

I was utterly surprised.

"Corpse hags?!"

Fatty Dong wagged his head and began to explain to me.

"According to the *Qiannan Records of Strange Things*, Qianzhou has many ancient tombs, and among them is a strange entity known as a corpse hag. Its shape resembles a hanging pouch, with eight legs like ribbons. It fears light and fire, and often walks around carrying a corpse. When it encounters a living person with weak yang energy, it attaches itself to their back and gradually devours their soul and essence. Over time, its appearance becomes increasingly human-like..."

"Speak human!"

"Sorry, I forgot you only finished elementary school. In human terms, it's a creature called a corpse hag, looking like a large tumor with eight legs, terrified of firelight, and fond of wandering around with corpses on its back. If it runs into someone lacking in yang energy, it clings to their back to survive by devouring their soul, and damn it, it starts looking more and more like its host!"

"..."

"Little Meng, what's with that look?"

"Did you just make this up on the spot?"

"Make it up your grandad! My master took me into the mountains of Qianzhou to exorcise evils and ward off disasters ever since I was a kid, forcing me to memorize this bitterly with a ruler! Qianzhou and the Wuyi Mountains border each other anyway, is it so strange to have a corpse hag here?"

"How does this thing form?"

"I don't know!"

"What happens after it completely devours the host's soul?"

"I forgot!"

I was certain he hadn't made it up.

When people make up stories, they usually ensure the internal logic is consistent while being vague in the middle.

Yet Fatty Dong cut off the beginning and the end, leaving only the middle part crystal clear, which proved he had genuinely memorized it.

Matters of ancient tombs cannot be judged by ordinary logic.

Spirit-language millipedes, flower-necked fairies, rainbow fish... all of these I had witnessed with my own eyes.

Now, adding a corpse hag that possesses humans wasn't particularly strange.

I scratched my head.

"Don't tell me you forgot how to deal with it too?"

Hearing this, Fatty Dong gave me a smug pat on the shoulder and chuckled.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do know how! Right beside the hotel is a farmers' market. Before we set off tomorrow, I'll go buy some sharp, high-end gear. Then, according to your plan, the moment we enter the tomb, we'll lure the corpse hag right out and let that old bastard go down there and play mahjong with the King of Hell!"

After listening to his proposed solution, I remained silent.

Fatty Dong asked, "Any problems?"

I replied, "The method is flawless, but the person executing it is questionable."

Fatty Dong frowned deeply, "Why do you always doubt my abilities? Daoist master here is your lucky star!"

I said, "Lucky star? Every time you speak with such absolute certainty, which time hasn't ended up with a pair of pants full of shit for me to clean up?"

Recently, I had been utterly tortured by this dead fatty's blunders.

Acting recklessly in the Ghost Elder's tomb at Hushan had provoked the flower-necked fairy and the corpse hag; drinking heavily at Meiling had drawn in Xiao Sanpi; running off to take a shit while destroying the warehouse had caused a mess; rallying Ah Fa to blockade the Jianguang Pharmacy only to be betrayed... Even capturing Old White Devil at the Changjiang Wharf went wrong, and every single incident was caused by his momentary negligence.

On that night at the Changjiang Wharf, Old White Devil had been sprinting toward the makeshift wooden bridge sawed across the trench when he suddenly slammed on the brakes, retreated urgently, and later almost beat us to death.

The reason behind that, I had never figured out.

***

Over the past few days, I specifically questioned Old White Devil.

Since Old White Devil was now trapped behind bars, he had nothing left to hide and explained that at the time, he noticed the planks were brand new, with the packaging labels not even torn off. They reflected the moonlight with a blinding glare, looking nothing like a wooden bridge workers used every day for crossing. Then he noticed the praying mantis luo actually leaped right over the trench, which aroused his suspicion and delayed him by a few seconds. As a result, the moment his subordinates stepped onto it, the bridge snapped instantly, so he turned around and fled.

Hearing the answer, I was so angry I almost vomited blood.

The trench trap had been entirely Fatty Dong's responsibility.

Beforehand, I had specifically instructed him to pay attention to details and ensure it blended completely with the construction site environment.

Never had I imagined he would not only use brand-new planks for the bridge, but even be too lazy to tear off the labels.

Our horoscopes simply clashed.

Fatty ruined me!

Fatty Dong patted his chest until it echoed loudly.

"If any moths fly out of the flame this time, the Daoist master will offer you my head!"

Fine!

If you employ someone, do not doubt them.

Even if something else goes wrong, I'll just accept my fate. Who asked me to burn yellow paper and swear brotherhood with him before Guan Yu?

I only hope that this morning's fire not only reveals the true face of the corpse hag, but also creates a raging inferno that buries Jiang Sheng'er!

Before setting off the next day.

I said to Jiang Sheng'er, "Dong Chuan and I are heading to the farmers' market ahead to prepare some tools for entering the tomb."

Jiang Sheng'er raised his aged eyes slightly.

"The tools are already prepared."

I replied, "We have our own rules for entering tombs. Those piece-of-crap gadgets of yours are useless."

Jiang Sheng'er looked at his watch.

"Twenty minutes!"

We were poisoned, and Xiao Yao was left behind in their custody. The old man was extremely confident and had no fear of us playing tricks.

The two of us walked toward the farmers' market, but not far into it, we found Xu Qingguo running up from behind, panting heavily.

"Hey! What are you trying to do?"

Fatty Dong's chubby face twitched.

"Getting some exorcism and disaster-relief stuff, of course! Did you seriously think we were buying pesticide to poison your godfather?"

"Come on, the old man has a dead mantis waiting on him when he eats and sleeps, living more cautiously than an emperor. What are you getting so anxious about?"

Xu Qingguo's pretty face showed hesitation.

"Fine, I'll go buy them with you!"

This chick was too smart!

She was afraid we would pull underhanded tricks.

Even though this girl wouldn't understand whatever stuff Fatty Dong was getting, if she accidentally blurted something out, it could easily alert the enemy. She absolutely could not tag along!

I exchanged a glance with Fatty Dong.

Fatty Dong understood instantly and immediately squeezed into the bustling crowd.

Xu Qingguo turned to follow.

However, I gently grabbed her hand.

Xu Qingguo's delicate eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"What are you doing? I'm going to go buy things!"

I smiled at her.

"Xiao Guo, you look so pretty when you smile."

***

Hearing this, Xu Qingguo's lovely eyes widened.

"Are you out of your mind?"

My gaze was filled with the tenderness of the sun, moon, and stars. I raised a hand to stroke her temple, cupped her smooth and rounded chin, and leaned in as if to kiss her.

Xu Qingguo's face instantly turned as red as a tomato, her fair neck looking as though it might drip blood. Her left hand blocked my mouth, while her right hand rose as if to slap me. Yet halfway up, the hand stopped, and she bit her lower lip with her pearly teeth.

"In broad daylight, what kind of freak are you acting like?!"

Embarrassed and flustered, she shoved me away, whipped her ponytail around, and rushed into the crowd to look for Fatty Dong.

I didn't bother with her anymore, lit a cigarette, and stood in place to smoke.

Just as I finished the cigarette.

Xu Qingguo ran back.

"Where's Dong Chuan?"

I flicked away the cigarette butt.

"How would I know? Weren't you the one who went looking for him?"

Furious, Xu Qingguo grabbed me by the ear.

"You just flirted with me to provide cover for him?!"

It hurt terribly.

"What do you mean flirting? Love has no regard for background, nor does it need a reason, right?"

These were the classic lines she had used earlier when playing the role of someone throwing themselves into the fire for love in front of Jiang Sheng'er.

Hearing this, Xu Qingguo flushed crimson with shame, her pretty face etched with anger. She grabbed my arm and sank her teeth into it.

"Bastard!!!"

At that exact moment.

Jiang Sheng'er and the others walked over. Seeing the two of us flirting like a young couple, the old man's face twisted like a mule with a difficult labor.

"Xiao Guo, let's go!"

We looked back and saw that Fatty Dong had already finished shopping, emerged from the farmers' market, and was standing right in the middle of Jiang Sheng'er's group.

Everyone returned to the vehicle.

Since this commercial van was exclusively used by the five of us—myself, Fatty Dong, Xu Qingguo, Xiao Yao, and Wu Ping—there was nothing to hold back. Xu Qingguo directly interrogated Fatty Dong.

"Where are the things you just bought? Take them out and let me see!"

Fatty Dong replied, "Buy my ass! They didn't have any here!"

Although she didn't believe it at all, she knew we would never confess, so she glared at me angrily twice and stayed quiet.

At six in the afternoon, the group finally arrived at the foot of the mountains in western Yunnan.

Six muscular bodyguards with fierce expressions were already waiting at the base of the mountain.

The old man had dispatched so many martial arts experts to western Yunnan in advance—just how wary was he of Liao Xiaoxin?

They all cupped their fists in salute toward Jiang Sheng'er.

"Second Master!"

Jiang Sheng'er rubbed his iron walnuts and nodded.

"Hard work! Up the mountain!"