9. Failing to rid the mind of its turbulent waters while alive

The whole family sat down at the dinner table on time, and then all that could be heard were the sounds of chewing and scraping at their bowls, without anyone lifting their heads. As for the eldest daughter, who had been pacing around the yard several times, everyone except the second son and his wife pretended not to see her.

The second son wanted to plead on her behalf, but when his eyes met their mother’s stern gaze, the courage he had just summoned vanished immediately. This time, he didn’t forget his daughter and secretly slipped one of his cornbread cakes to her.

Grandma Liu noticed but said nothing; after all, it wasn’t their main food supply, and if the father was willing to go hungry, so be it.

The meal ended amidst everyone’s fervent eating and the eldest daughter’s gritted teeth and furious glare. Afterward, those who needed to go to school left for school, and those who had work in the fields went about their chores.

The two younger children, after finishing quickly, grabbed their schoolbags and dashed off. The old man, carrying a hoe, started walking out as well. Seeing this, the eldest and the third son called out to their son to hurry up and follow. The second son tossed the hidden cornbread cake to his wife and hurried after them.

The second son’s wife, seeing Grandma Liu go to the niece’s room, quickly slipped into their daughter’s room.

“Eldest daughter…”

The eldest daughter, lying on the bed, turned her body slightly, offering Li Cuihua her back.

Li Cuihua’s steps faltered, her anger instantly flaring. Thinking that her daughter had gone hungry for two meals in a row, she forced herself to hold back.

“Hurry up, this is what your father and I saved for you. Eat it quickly, don’t let your grandma see.”

She shoved the cornbread cake into her daughter’s hand, her eyes nervously glancing outside, fearing that the elusive grandmother might suddenly appear.

The eldest daughter held the cornbread cake, turned around, and glared at Li Cuihua—not like a daughter at her mother, but as if staring down an enemy.

Li Cuihua’s anger surged uncontrollably.

“What’s this? Bringing you cornbread and you look at me like an enemy? You ungrateful girl, this is what your father and I specially saved for you.”

“I don’t know what sins I committed in a past life to give birth to someone so ungrateful. Do whatever you want, but if you anger your grandparents, your father and I won’t be able to help you.”

“Mother, have you and father ever protected me?” The eldest daughter gripped the cornbread cake tightly, as if venting all her resentment on it.

“Eldest daughter, do you have a heart? If your mother hadn’t protected you, would you have grown this big? Look around the village—who among the girls lives as comfortably as you? You get to study and don’t have to work in the fields. If it weren’t for your father and me protecting you, do you think just a few words from you would have made this pass so smoothly? Don’t you know how much your grandparents value Ruoruo? If you dare to tarnish Ruoruo’s reputation, your grandmother would skin you alive—I’d even let you take my surname.”

Li Cuihua laughed bitterly, unable to understand how she could have given birth to such a fool. Others grew smarter with age; hers only seemed to grow more foolish.

“Yes, you protected me. You protected me by making me admit fault without reason, by beating me until I was bruised and battered in front of the whole family?”

“How dare you say that! You’re making me furious! Is your brain made of porridge? When you were born, why didn’t I shake you hard enough to spill the porridge in your head? Even I can see through your little tricks—do you think you can fool your grandparents? Eldest daughter, I admit I didn’t care for you as much as your brother, but you’re a part of me. How could I not love you? Everything I do is for your own good; otherwise, you’d have an even harder life. Besides, this time, it was your fault. Isn’t admitting it the right thing to do?”

“What’s right? It wasn’t intentional. You said it yourself—my brain is porridge; I can’t think that much. Both Ruoruo and I are granddaughters, so why can Grandma accept Ruoruo but not me?”

“You shameless girl, how dare you compare yourself to Ruoruo? Do you have Ruoruo’s luck or charm? ‘Ambitious but fragile’—that’s you. Instead of wasting time on comparisons, why not work harder? If your grandparents are in a good mood, they might use your fourth uncle’s connections to find you a job in the city.”

“Why do you insist on comparing yourself to Ruoruo? Ruoruo has her grandfather, grandmother, and brother paving the way for her. Do you? Even if Ruoruo never does a thing, she won’t worry about food or clothing for life. Don’t you think that’s foolish? Your mother has told you many times to think ahead before doing anything. Even if you have personal ambitions, you must plan your future. Why won’t you understand? Also, think of your brother. If you offend your grandparents and Ruoruo, what benefits can your brother get from this family? You really are foolish.”

Li Cuihua poked her daughter hard, her anger causing a sharp pain in her ribs, yet she still argued with her, hoping the girl wouldn’t get stuck in a dead end. But faced with her daughter’s stubbornness and indignation, her blood pressure rose, and her head spun.

“Mother, that’s your true feelings at last. Saying all this only shows you despise me for being a girl. You don’t want me to ruin your son’s future. But how do you know my whole life is just toiling in the dirt, leading a mediocre existence? Can’t I rise above that?”

These words left Li Cuihua speechless for a long time. She couldn’t understand how the eldest daughter had the audacity to say such things.

The more she grew, the more foolish she seemed, oblivious to it. She used to know how to coax Ruoruo, but now she acted like an enemy.

Her mind was only getting worse with education. If she had known this, she wouldn’t have let Ruoruo go to school either. After a few years of schooling, she thought she was something special, not knowing her true worth.

Success and rising above others are not so easy. In her eyes, getting a factory job in the city was already an honor passed down from ancestors. This girl was truly mad.

“Fine, you’re so capable. I’ll just wait to see how you rise up. Be stubborn all you want. Forget it, I won’t care anymore. If you’re angry, then go hungry.”

The hungry eldest daughter wanted to throw the cornbread cake away but the feeling of hunger was unbearable. In the end, she shoved the cake into her mouth with resentment.

Li Cuihua, dizzy with anger, didn’t bother with her daughter anymore, letting the girl learn the hard way that she and her father cared for her.

Their voices had been kept low at first, but as they argued, the volume grew unintentionally. When Li Cuihua stepped out, she saw her eldest sister-in-law’s face beaming with schadenfreude. The third brother’s wife was usually quiet but her gaze was filled with indescribable meaning.

Li Cuihua: “...”

“Second sister-in-law, it looks like your daughter really needs a good scolding. Even you, her mother, can’t manage her. Tsk tsk, I feel sorry for you... such a waste... completely unable to tell right from wrong... It’s rare you even argued with your mother for her last night... truly disheartening...”

The gloating was blatant, and the provocation clear.

It stabbed sharply at Li Cuihua’s heart, stirring up a trace of resentment toward her daughter, yet she still spoke harshly.

“My daughter is fine, no need for you to worry. If you have time to babble nonsense, you’d better do more work. After all, a half-grown boy is eating me out of house and home. Sister-in-law, you’re past the age to be looking for a daughter-in-law. If you delay any longer, all the good girls will be gone...”