30. Disappointment

Hearing this, Grandma Liu understood everything—Da Ni had gone to register at the paper mill that morning.

With an expressionless face, Grandma Liu stared quietly at Da Ni, her eldest granddaughter, her heart surging with a turmoil she could not suppress. Yes, she admitted she was biased. But even fingers on a hand are of different lengths. When Ruo Ruo first arrived, orphaned and haunted by nightmares, she was a child of less than ten, so thin she looked as if a gust of wind could topple her. Naturally, as her grandparents, they doted on her more.

While the affection was skewed, Grandma Liu believed she had never treated any of her granddaughters poorly in other respects; even the grandsons did not enjoy the same treatment as the granddaughters in the house. Why was it that she had been such a good child when she was young, only to stray as she grew older?

A flicker of disappointment crossed Grandma Liu’s eyes. This child had truly drifted away from them.

"So you have already registered!" Her tone was flat.

Not far away, Grandpa Jiang’s brow furrowed deeper, and he cast a look of disappointment at his eldest granddaughter as well. The excitement on the faces of Da Jun and his brother faltered at their grandmother's words.

Da Ni shrank back, whispering, "Yes... I’ve been upsetting Grandma lately, and I was afraid she wouldn't agree, so I secretly took the household registration book. But I’ve already put it back."

"Is that how you view your grandmother?" Grandma Liu smiled, but her eyes were cold, with shards of ice gathering in their depths.

The cold, smiling voice made Da Ni feel a sudden, panicky unease. Given her grandmother's temperament, she should have been furious; yet, here she was, smiling instead. Da Ni knew she had to say something.

"Grandma, you misunderstood. It was just that the time was too tight, and my classmate told me not to tell anyone..." Da Ni shifted the blame onto an imaginary classmate.

"So in your eyes, we, your family, are outsiders? Or did you think that if you told me, I would force you to give up this opportunity for your cousin?"

The more one speaks, the more one errs. Jiang Ruo couldn't help but shake her head. What a perfect opportunity this could have been to improve the family's perception of her, yet Da Ni had ruined it. Given her grandparents' personalities, this opportunity would have certainly been given to Da Ni anyway. What a pity.

Jiang Ruo gained a new perspective on her eldest cousin’s intelligence—and her selfishness. She was someone who could be truly generous to those she cared about, yet equally petty.

For the sake of family, if Da Ni could treat her grandparents well, Jiang Ruo would be happy to put on a show and play the part of a filial granddaughter; she could even let go of her minor malice. As for "her" death, the primary cause was simply being too naive and easily coaxed by others.

Grandma's words made Da Ni nervous, and she shook her head quickly: "No, no." She dared not admit her selfishness, and, feeling guilty, she lowered her head, unable to meet her grandmother's gaze.

She... she was simply afraid that since so many people were signing up, her chances would be slim. Besides, among her brothers, only the fourth had finished middle school; even the eldest and second brothers had only attended literacy classes and possessed a rudimentary primary school education. She knew her grandparents wanted to find work for the boys, but jobs were not easy to come by—let alone those in the county or the city. If there were any, they would never reach them. So, she wasn't entirely to blame!

Even though Da Ni claimed otherwise, Da Jun and the others could see the truth, and a wave of disappointment rose within them.

"So what exactly are you trying to say?" Grandma Liu had lost patience with her eldest granddaughter.

"Grandma, there is an exam at the paper mill in three days. Can I... not have to do chores for these three days?"

"You may," Grandma Liu confirmed.

"Ah..." Da Ni, who had prepared herself to be scolded severely, was taken aback by how easily she was granted permission, and she lifted her head in surprise.

Grandma Liu sighed. Disappointment was one thing, but this was still her granddaughter; as an elder, she naturally wanted the best for the child. "Since you have this opportunity, grasp it well. Spend these next few days at home studying... and ask your fourth brother if there is anything you don't understand."

Thinking of her eldest granddaughter's grades, Grandma Liu added the last part.

"Grandma..." Da Ni was moved, looking at her grandmother with a newfound, hidden regret. When Jiang Ruo was not involved, her grandmother, aside from a short temper, was truly good to them. Had she... done the wrong thing?

"That's enough. You chose this path yourself; just make sure you don't disappoint yourself," Grandma Liu said earnestly, hoping her granddaughter would understand her intentions.

"Grandma..."

"Grandma," Jiang Ruo interrupted Da Ni’s moment of sentiment. Seeing everyone’s attention shift to her, she smiled sweetly. "Grandma, Fourth Brother might not have time. He needs to study these next few days. If Sister Da Ni has any questions, she can come ask me."

The old woman was puzzled. "Studying?" She looked toward her fourth grandson, and seeing him nod with a serious expression, her confusion deepened.

"No, Fourth Brother graduated over three years ago. What is he studying for?" Er Jun voiced the question for their grandmother.

Jiang Laosan also looked at his son, suddenly remembering that his son had been pulled away by his niece that morning. Could it be...

"Grandma, I do need to study for the next few days," Fourth Brother said, feeling suddenly nervous under his family's gaze, and he scratched his head.

"What is going on?" Grandpa Jiang walked over, his stern gaze sweeping over his precious granddaughter, Da Ni, and Fourth Brother, before finally landing on his grandson. When Grandpa Jiang was expressionless, it was enough to make people tremble, let alone now, when his stern demeanor sent a jolt of fear through Fourth Brother.

"Grandpa, it's like this..." He proceeded to explain how his younger sister had taken him and Shanyao to register, not omitting the two packs of cigarettes she had given away for their sake.

What was meant to be a trivial matter caused a stir. Da Ni looked at her fourth brother in disbelief, then turned her gaze toward Jiang Ruo.

"How did you know?"

Jiang Ruo raised her eyes languidly, stopped picking at her fingers, and said innocently, "Of course, my classmate came over specifically to tell me. You have classmates, and I, being so well-liked, naturally have even more."

"It's just a pity that the paper mill isn't hiring many people this time, otherwise I would have let the eldest and second brothers try as well."

"It's alright, Ruo Ruo. You taking Fourth Brother must have had a reason..." Da Jun and Er Jun said quickly. Ruo Ruo had always been close to them; she wouldn't play favorites. Thinking of what their fourth brother said about studying, the brothers exchanged a look and understood everything.

Sigh, although they had attended literacy classes, they only had a primary school education, and even that was only because their grandparents had pushed them to pass the exams. They hadn't been born in the right era; by the time Liberation came, they were already too old and felt embarrassed to sit with a group of children. Fourth Brother only studied because he was accompanying Ruo Ruo and Da Ni; otherwise, he would have felt awkward too.

Grandpa Jiang looked at the brothers with satisfaction; the two boys weren't foolish. If they had held a grudge against his "precious treasure" over this, he would never have forgiven those two blockheads.

Such unreserved trust moved Jiang Ruo, warming her heart, and the smile she gave her brothers grew even sweeter.

"Big Brother and Second Brother understand me best. Even though the opportunity is rare, it’s not as if there won't be more in the future. Not only do I have many classmates, but your sister hasn't spent all these years studying in vain. Perhaps another opportunity will arise soon."

If it were just a job, it might be difficult for others, but thinking of her area of expertise, Jiang Ruo felt that securing a job for her eldest and second brothers shouldn't be a challenge. It was just that she was too lazy; it seemed she would need to go out and look around soon, especially in the county or even the city.