Chapter 41: Final Opponent, King Yama Teams Up as "The Great King Team"

Underworld Card Games: From Fight the Landlord to Four-Suit Competition
Volume 2, Chapter 41: Final Opponents: King Yama’s "King Team"

The sweet soup on the stone table was still steaming. Little Li had just finished reciting his poem—"The semifinal win brings a grin, the final asks the King to spin"—when the Judge came running over, shouldering his score-counting abacus. His spectacles slid to the tip of his nose, and his voice went up an octave: "The final opponents are set! It’s King Yama’s 'King Team.' The members are Blackie, Whitie, and a guest appearance by the Earth God!"

As soon as these words dropped, Old Zhou’s soup bowl clattered onto the stone table, splashing a bit onto his blue cloth bag. He scrambled to wipe it off, muttering, "The King Team? Last time the King lost at Fight the Landlord, he smashed three tables. If he loses this Four-Suit game, won’t he tear the whole parlor apart?"

Wang Er-Ma wasn't ruffled. He stroked his chin and chuckled, "Let him tear it apart. The Underworld has plenty of tables. Last time Meng Po spilled her soup all over the Judge, didn't they just get a new one?" No sooner had he finished speaking than the sound of "thump-thump" footsteps echoed in the distance, accompanied by Blackie’s shout: "Make way, make way! The King is here!"

Everyone turned to look. King Yama was wearing his black robe embroidered with spider lilies, moving with an air of authority. On his arm was a patch of yellow paper covered in dense, hand-drawn card patterns—his attempt at "all-night memorization" notes. After the Queen of Hell confiscated his pillow, he had simply stuck the paper to his arm like a tattoo. Blackie and Whitie followed behind. Blackie carried a bulging cloth bag, while Whitie kept checking Blackie's hat, as if inspecting for contraband.

"Master Ma, hope you've been well!" King Yama walked to the stone table and clapped a hand on Wang Er-Ma’s shoulder with enough force to nearly send him to the ground. "Beating Old Zhao in the semifinals? Not bad, not bad. But against me in the finals, that 'blind luck technique' of yours won't work!"

Wang Er-Ma rubbed his shoulder and laughed, "You speak too soon, Your Majesty. Our 'Master Ma Team' now has Old Zhou’s 'Bomb-Defusal Technique,' Little Li’s 'Poetic Technique,' and Meng Po’s 'Sweet Soup Technique.' We might just win!" Meng Po, who had just arrived with a fresh batch of soup, added, "That’s right, Your Majesty. If you lose, I’ll brew you a bowl of 'Comfort Soup'—with double the sugar!"

King Yama’s face stiffened. Last time he drank Meng Po’s "Comfort Soup," she had tripled the sugar, leaving him so cloyingly sweet that he hadn't had the energy to play cards all afternoon. He quickly changed the subject, pointing to the bag in Blackie’s hand: "I’ve brought my 'victory gear' this time. Blackie is holding it for me!"

Blackie hurriedly hid the bag behind his back, his face turning a deep shade of charcoal: "It's, it's nothing! Just some little gadgets for tracking cards!" Whitie suddenly jumped out, pointing at Blackie’s hat: "He’s hiding cards! I saw him stuff a Big King in his hat just now, just like he did last time!"

"You’re lying!" Blackie frantically clutched his hat, but his hand slipped. The hat fell to the ground with a thud, and a piece of paper with a drawing of a Big King fluttered out—not a real card, but a "fake King" King Yama had drawn to trick his opponents. King Yama’s face darkened, and he kicked Blackie: "I told you to hide my 'cheat sheet,' who told you to hide this junk?"

Blackie rubbed his leg aggrievedly: "I, I misremembered! Whitie said hiding it in the hat was safe, that’s how we hid the real one last time..." Whitie waved his hands: "Don't blame me! You forgot to take it out last time and the Queen of Hell caught you!"

As the two constables bickered, the Earth God shuffled over slowly. He carried a small cloth bag containing his "Earth Cards"—cards stained with soil he’d dug up from the banks of the Naihe Bridge that morning, claiming that "earth energy helps you win." He leaned over the table and placed a dirt-caked melon seed on it: "Master Ma, my Earth Cards can act as any single card. Don't be intimidated by my 'earthly power' when I play them!"

Wang Er-Ma picked up the seed, wiped off the dirt, and crunched it: "Don't worry, old man Zhang back at the complex plays 'fake cards' all the time; I'm used to it! By the way, Your Majesty, what was that prize you promised if we win?"

King Yama puffed out his chest and pulled a golden scroll from his sleeve: "Beat me, and I’ll grant you reincarnation as a 'Second-Generation Wealthy' heir, with endless underworld currency and four sets of cards to play at home whenever you like!" Old Zhou’s eyes lit up; he tugged on Wang Er-Ma’s sleeve: "Master Ma, being a wealthy heir is great—we could stockpile so many chips!"

Wang Er-Ma shook his head: "I don't want to be a wealthy heir. I want to be reincarnated where there's a card table at the entrance of the complex. I can play with the neighborhood elders every day, give them melon seeds when I lose, and drink sweet soup when I win. That’s freer than being a wealthy heir!"

Everyone laughed at this. Little Li whipped out his yellow notebook, his pen flying, and soon recited: "Master Ma shuns the wealthy heir, prefers the neighborhood card-table flare; win or lose, we laugh and play, Underworld cards keep gloom away!" He held the book up to show King Yama, who couldn't help but smile: "Fine! As long as you can beat me, never mind the 'neighborhood card table'—even if you want to touch cards every single day in your next life, I’ll grant it!"

Just then, the Queen of Hell walked over, carrying a pillow—the one she had confiscated from King Yama the night before. She dropped it on the stone table: "Your Majesty, stop bragging. Take your pillow. Don't go face-planting on the table when you get sleepy tracking the Four-Suit game!"

King Yama blushed and shoved the pillow at Blackie: "I’m not sleepy! I spent all night drawing card patterns, I’m full of energy!" No sooner had he finished than he let out a yawn, tears welling in his eyes—clearly the result of staying up late.

Meng Po handed him a bowl of sweet soup: "Your Majesty, have some soup to perk up. Don't end up playing a 'sleepy card' and throwing a Big King as a 3!" King Yama took a sip and frowned: "Why isn't there any sugar?" Meng Po smiled: "I was afraid you'd get sleepy from the sugar rush. I'll double it once you win!"

The Earth God suddenly crouched down, drew a circle in the dirt, and placed his Earth Cards inside: "I’ll let my cards soak up some earth energy so they can trump your sequences later!" But as soon as he put them down, the cards began to sink an inch into the ground. He scrambled to dig them out, shouting, "Stop sinking! I need you for the finals!"

Blackie and Whitie seized the moment to huddle together. Blackie secretly pulled a card from his bag, trying to stuff it into his hat, but Whitie stopped him: "Stop hiding things! The King already got caught by the Queen, if you keep hiding stuff, I'll make you wash all four decks of cards!" Blackie stuffed the card back into the bag, feigning innocence: "I was just looking, not hiding!"

Old Zhou leaned toward Wang Er-Ma and whispered, "Master Ma, look at the King Team—Blackie and Whitie are always fighting, the Earth God’s cards keep digging into the dirt, and the King is sleep-deprived. We might actually win!" Wang Er-Ma patted his shoulder: "That's right. You broke a 6 last time to win the round; if you break a bomb this time, we’ll seal the victory!"

Little Li recited again: "The King Team has fun and woe, Blackie caught with cards in tow, the Earth cards like to burrow deep, the King is nodding off to sleep! The Master Ma team’s spirit’s high, Old Zhou’s bomb-defusal makes us fly, Little Li’s poems distract the foe, the championship is ours to show!"

King Yama slammed his soup bowl onto the table: "You rascal, Little Li, you dare write poems to mock me? In the finals, you’re the first one I’m taking down!" Little Li hid behind Wang Er-Ma, peeking out: "I’m just stating facts, Your Majesty! If you win, I’ll write a poem about how you’re the best card player under heaven!"

The group burst into laughter. The Judge, shouldering his abacus, shouted: "Stop laughing! The finals are starting! The tables are set in the center of the City God Temple, and the ghosts watching are lined up all the way to the Looking-Home Terrace!"

Wang Er-Ma stood up and patted the shoulders of Old Zhou and Little Li: "Let’s go! Our 'Master Ma Team' is going to have a proper match against the 'King Team.' If we lose, we drink Meng Po’s soup; if we win, the King buys us melon seeds!" Old Zhou tied his blue cloth bag, Little Li tucked away his yellow notebook, and Meng Po carried her soup bowl and card rack behind them—she was the "reserve logistics," ready to brew sweet soup if they lost or hand out melon seeds if they won.

King Yama led Blackie, Whitie, and the Earth God in front. Blackie was still secretly touching his bag, Whitie was checking Blackie's hat, and the Earth God was still digging his burrowing cards out of the dirt. Sunlight streamed through the windows of the City God Temple, illuminating them. The melon seed shells on the table remained, and the scent of sweet soup filled the air—the Four-Suit final was finally about to begin.