Chapter 24: Rules of Survival in the Audition Area

The morning mist had not yet dispersed.

As Kang Jae-hoon pushed open the unit door with his backpack slung over his shoulders, he nearly collided with the black van blocking the hallway entrance. He leaned in to inspect the black Mercedes Viano—it was the new van Hwang Jung-min had just acquired.

Kim Dae-won, a toothpick dangling from his lips, tapped the steering wheel. "What are you dazed for? Get in!"

"Oh..."

The walnut trim inside the vehicle carried the distinct resin scent of a new car. As Kang Jae-hoon squeezed into the backseat, his fingertip accidentally brushed against a raised button on the side of the armrest console.

"Hum—"

The sudden mechanical massage vibrating through his lumbar spine made him hunch over like a shrimp. "Is—is this chair alive?!"

"You country bumpkin!" Kim Dae-won laughed wildly, slapping the steering wheel. "Your teacher specifically upgraded it with a spinal therapy function so you could get a head start on experiencing the occupational hazards of an award-winning actor."

"..."

The van pulled slowly away from the unit. Kang Jae-hoon was busy tinkering with the air conditioning buttons like a curious child when a flash of neon green flickered through the morning fog—Lee Sung-kyung was jogging along the residential path, wearing bone-conduction headphones.

Tight yoga pants clung to her long legs, and the curves of her waist and hips rose and fell with the rhythm of her run like waves.

There were 33 days left until Seoul Fashion Week. Lee Sung-kyung’s training regimen had become increasingly rigorous; she had even set her alarm forty minutes earlier. Of course, this had absolutely nothing to do with avoiding the morning bathroom rush with Kang Jae-hoon.

"Eyes about to stick to her? You want me to pull over and say hello?"

"Don't! She'll say I'm disrupting the citizens' morning exercise routine..."

"Really not stopping?" Kim Dae-won intentionally slowed the car to 15 km/h. "Want me to show you a drifting park, kid?"

"Brother, do you have enough points left on your license to lose?"

"..."

As the van drove out of Seongsu-dong, the morning mist over the Han River was being steamed into wisps of golden silk by the rising sun. Kang Jae-hoon sank into his seat, counting the foghorns of the cargo ships on the river; the long-short-long pattern reminded him of the lighthouse signal in the play *The Seagull*.

The glass forest of Apgujeong gradually emerged. When they hit traffic at the entrance to Rodeo Street, the cedar scent of the car diffuser tangled with the caramelized aroma drifting from a corner bakery. Kang Jae-hoon rolled down the window for some air and suddenly heard the crisp sound of metal clashing—

Outside a storefront diagonally across, a crane was hoisting a neon sign into place. The chrome letters of [Tint] caught the morning sun, reflecting a cold glint.

"That is..."

Kang Jae-hoon leaned half his body out the window, but his neck was jerked back into the seat by the sudden locking of his seatbelt.

"What is it?" Kim Dae-won asked, honking the horn aggressively.

"Nothing..."

The shop he had managed during his real estate internship was already under renovation; it seemed the leasing transaction had gone through smoothly.

South Korea wasn't a large country, but no matter where you went, travel time was measured in hours—because of the traffic. By the time the van slid into the underground parking garage of the SBS building, it was nearly nine o'clock. They had been stuck for forty-five minutes.

The mirrored surface of the elevator doors reflected a dense crowd—over a dozen young men in white shirts were adjusting their bow ties, looking like a flock of penguins collectively molting. The audition waiting area was filled with the chill of air conditioning and the scent of cheap cologne.

Kim Dae-won slapped an audition badge onto his chest. "Number 33, a lucky number!"

Kang Jae-hoon hugged his backpack and shuffled along the wall to a folding chair in the corner. To his left sat Kang Ha-neul, who was practicing the line, "He who wishes to wear the crown must bear its weight," and to his right was Park Hyung-sik, who was shaking his knees frantically.

Kang Jae-hoon suddenly recalled what his senior, Han Hye-jin, had told him on set yesterday: "Anxiety is contagious." Without realizing it, his own knees began to shake in sync with Park Hyung-sik.

Park Hyung-sik suddenly stopped, tilted his head, and looked at him. "Do you have Parkinson's?"

Kang Jae-hoon hit the emergency brakes on his knees. "Huh?"

"I'm trying to get into character for Choi Young-do." Park Hyung-sik pulled up his pant leg, revealing 5kg sandbags strapped to his calves. "I heard that a second-generation chaebol needs to have the relaxed aura of a cheetah when he walks."

"..."

Kang Jae-hoon silently pulled his legs together into a rigid military-style posture.

"Which roles are you guys auditioning for?" Kang Ha-neul leaned over and offered them each a mint.

"Choi Young-do, obviously," Park Hyung-sik said, thanking him and chewing the candy.

Kang Ha-neul looked left and right, then lowered his voice. "I heard Choi Young-do has already been cast internally for Kim Woo-bin."

Park Hyung-sik snapped his fingers and smiled. "That's why I prepared a Plan B—Yoon Chan-young." He turned to Kang Jae-hoon. "What about you, Kang Jae-hoon-xi?"

"Hmm?" Kang Jae-hoon was stunned. "How do you know my name?"

"I'm a theater major at Chung-Ang University. I was in the audience when your drama club came to our school for a guest performance last month," Kang Ha-neul smiled. "We even analyzed your curtain call movements in acting class last week."

"Wait, hold on—" Park Hyung-sik interrupted. "What is this? I thought we were all unemployed youth." He began counting on his fingers. "The academic elites, the stage actors... am I the only pure crossover rookie here?"

"No, you should just think about the fact that Kang Jae-hoon-xi’s teacher is Hwang Jung-min, yet he’s here in the SBS audition area with you. Doesn't that make you feel more balanced?"

"Balanced my foot! Wait... your teacher is Hwang Jung-min?"

Kang Jae-hoon touched his nose. "I’m just learning from the teacher..."

"Quick, quick! Let’s commemorate this historical moment—" Park Hyung-sik pulled out his phone and held it up at a 45-degree angle. "When I make my documentary later, I'll title this segment: 'Peak at Debut—The Idol Actor Who Auditioned Against the Protégé of a Young-Age Award-Winning Actor.'"

Beside them, Kang Ha-neul also quietly took out his phone. "Would you mind making a V-sign, Jae-hoon-xi?"

"..." Kang Jae-hoon held a stiff peace sign like a kidnapped hostage.

"Click!"

Before the shutter sound had faded, a sneer came from behind them. "Newcomers these days really know how to name-drop. Does Hwang Jung-min’s student really need to fight us for bit parts? Or is he just a defective product that got returned?"

Park Hyung-sik slowly turned his phone lens toward the source of the voice. "Looks like some documentary material just arrived—'Hyenas of the Audition Area'?"

"Oh, look who it is—" The greasy-haired man held his hands up in front of his eyes like binoculars to size up Park Hyung-sik. "Isn't this ZE:A, the group that has to rely on fan crowdfunding just to afford their stage outfits?"

Park Hyung-sik locked his phone with a sharp click, his knuckles turning white. "Say that again?"

"What about it? I suggest you change your name to the 'Imperial Beggars'..."

Park Hyung-sik suddenly rose and grabbed the man by the collar; the bandages holding the sandbags on his calves snapped with a *pop*.

"Don't!" Kang Jae-hoon quickly shoved himself between them.

"Go ahead, hit me! The surveillance cameras will capture the headline: 'Flop Idol Commits Assault!'" The greasy man shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Let's call the headline 'Audition Site Bullying by a Failing Idol'—"

As he finished his sentence, the arm Park Hyung-sik used to hold the man's collar began to shake violently. This wasn't fear; it was the adrenaline surging, the pre-swing tension before a punch.

At this critical juncture, Kang Jae-hoon suddenly clutched his chest and stumbled backward, a wheezing, bellows-like sound squeezing from his throat. "Argh... medicine..."

He rolled his eyes back, crashed into Kang Ha-neul, and his twitching knee knocked over a trash can with surgical precision. A soda can rolled to the feet of the greasy man, and Park Hyung-sik’s raised fist veered off course, slamming into his own thigh instead.

Kang Ha-neul cradled the convulsing Kang Jae-hoon on the floor and frantically massaged his philtrum. "Ambulance! Someone call an ambulance!"

The greasy man was so terrified he backed up three steps and slammed into a fire hydrant. "I—it’s not my fault! He just..."

By the time the floor manager pushed through the crowd, Kang Jae-hoon was already foaming at the mouth.

"The patient needs mouth-to-mouth!"

"Damn it!" Park Hyung-sik rushed to kneel beside Kang Jae-hoon. "I'll do it!"

Kang Jae-hoon was so startled he reached out to block his face and sat bolt upright. "I'm suddenly better."

"..."

The entire room fell into a three-second deathly silence.

The walkie-talkie in the floor manager's hand crackled with static. "Number 33... is Number 33 still auditioning in that physical condition?"

"I can audition!" Kang Jae-hoon wiped the white foam from the corner of his mouth and performed a kip-up, standing straight. "That was just character preparation!"

When Kang Jae-hoon entered the audition room, order returned to the waiting area. Park Hyung-sik silently strapped his sandbags back onto his calves. Kang Ha-neul sat in his chair, lost in thought.

"...Was he really acting just now?" After a moment, Park Hyung-sik broke the silence.

"Yes." Kang Ha-neul’s voice was extremely low. "To perform such a near-death state, he’s either truly experienced it, or he’s an acting genius..."

"And where did that foam come from?"

"I suspect... a mint?"