Chapter 45: I Am Not

Lou Xiao’e followed Xu Damao to the backyard and saw the deaf old lady basking in the sun outside. She couldn’t help but step forward and greet her.

Hearing the noise outside, Fool Zhu also came out. When he saw Lou Xiao’e, he was completely stunned.

Lou Xiao’e wore a Western-style dress, her hair styled in large waves, and on her feet were a pair of small leather shoes. She looked both noble and refined.

“He’s our factory’s cook, Fool Zhu,” Xu Damao said, raising his eyebrows at Fool Zhu. “This is my girlfriend, Lou Xiao’e.”

“Xu Damao, we’re not even a couple yet,” Lou Xiao’e corrected him.

“Ahem, a blind date couple, a blind date couple,” Xu Damao’s face flushed red.

“Lou Xiao’e, don’t be fooled by this guy. He’s no good,” Fool Zhu shouted loudly.

“Fool Zhu, shut up. You’re no saint yourself,” Xu Damao retorted angrily.

“Lou Xiao’e, I’m telling you, the worst one in this courtyard is Xu Damao. He’s even worse than Lin Shaowen,” Fool Zhu sneered.

“Stop your nonsense; you’re worse than Lin Shaowen,” Xu Damao shouted back.

“You’re worse than Lin Shaowen.”

“No, you’re worse than Lin Shaowen.”

…

The two of them bickered like children, even spitting at each other, which made Lou Xiao’e shudder with disgust.

She glanced at the deaf old lady sitting in the chair and smiled sweetly.

“Grandma, who is this Lin Shaowen they keep talking about?”

“He’s a bad man,” the deaf old lady’s expression changed immediately. “Girl, let me tell you, if you marry into this courtyard, stay away from Lin Shaowen. He’s a scoundrel, covered in sores from head to toe…”

“Mmhmm, Xu Damao said the same thing,” Lou Xiao’e nodded vigorously.

After bickering for a while, Xu Damao and Fool Zhu grew tired of their spat.

They agreed to continue their quarrel later that evening, and Xu Damao took Lou Xiao’e home.

Xu Damao’s house was very clean; the two rooms were neatly organized. Lou Xiao’e discreetly glanced under the bed and saw it stuffed full of things—clothes, shoes, socks, even two bowls with noodles inside—causing her to feel a wave of nausea.

“Xiao’e, why don’t you have dinner here tonight? Try my cooking,” Xu Damao said as he reached to take Lou Xiao’e’s hand, but she smoothly dodged him.

Before she could speak, a voice called from outside the door, “Lou Xiao’e, don’t let him fool you. He can’t cook for crap.”

“What’s it to you?” Xu Damao regretted it instantly.

He should have brought Lou Xiao’e back while Fool Zhu was out.

“Lou Xiao’e, I’m right outside. If Xu Damao dares to lay a hand on you, I’ll rush in and send him straight to the neighborhood watch,” Fool Zhu shouted.

Aside from being a bit foolish around Qin Huairu, Fool Zhu was actually quite sharp at other times.

With that warning, Lou Xiao’e couldn’t even think about sitting still; she wanted nothing more than to run away immediately.

---

“Xu Damao, I’m leaving. Your neighbors are quite entertaining,” Lou Xiao’e said with a coquettish laugh, then got up to leave.

“I’ll see you off,” Xu Damao hurried after her, shooting Fool Zhu a fierce glare as he stepped out.

Fool Zhu, however, wore a mischievous grin and even raised a fist in a teasing challenge.

“I’ll get you sooner or later.”

Xu Damao spat out a threat and followed Lou Xiao’e.

At that moment, in the middle courtyard, Jia Zhangshi was performing a spirit-calling ritual, her target once again Yan Bugui.

“My old Jia, why did you leave me? This old woman is nearly being bullied to death by Old Yan. Come see for yourself, or even take Old Yan away, old Jia…”

It had to be said that Jia Zhangshi was quite adept at calling spirits.

Though harmless, it was truly nauseating.

Yan Bugui’s face was ashen, his hand holding a flower hoe trembling slightly. He was a people’s teacher and the third eldest uncle of the courtyard. Jia Zhangshi’s antics nearly drove him to death by anger.

A crowd had gathered to watch.

Lin Shaowen was among them, squatting nearby with a handful of melon seeds, coaching Jia Zhangshi on her movements.

“Jia Zhangshi, you need to pat your thigh.”

“Keep the rhythm steady.”

“When you call ‘Old Jia,’ raise your voice a bit.”

…

Seeing Lin Shaowen in this role, Lou Xiao’e’s big eyes narrowed into crescent moons.

“Lin Shaowen, what are you up to?” Yan Bugui said grumpily. “It’s your lousy idea that’s got Jia Zhangshi causing trouble every day.”

“Old Yan, you’re wrong,” Lin Shaowen said indignantly. “I said I wouldn’t find Qin Huairu a job, but you forced me to help her. What? Now you don’t want to admit it’s done?”

“Did I force you?” Yan Bugui was exasperated. “The whole courtyard is involved, okay? But why does Jia Zhangshi always come to my house? Didn’t you say all three uncles are okay?”

“That’s easy,” Lin Shaowen replied, tilting his head.

“Oh? You know why?” Yan Bugui perked up.

“If you shout ‘Yi Zhonghai is a damn old man,’ I’ll tell you right away,” Lin Shaowen smirked wickedly.

“How improper!” Yan Bugui’s face turned dark.

“You can have your son shout it too,” Lin Shaowen retreated a step.

Yan Bugui said nothing but glanced toward Yan Jiekang, who was watching the commotion.

Yan Jiekang understood immediately and ran to Yi Zhonghai’s door, shouting, “Yi Zhonghai, you damn old man!”

Then he took off running.

“Who is that… oof!”

Sounds of heavy objects falling came from Yi Zhonghai’s house.

“You brat, what are you yelling? No respect at all.”

Yan Bugui took a few steps as if to chase, but Yan Jiekang had vanished.

After a while, Yi Zhonghai came out holding his waist, cursing, “Who’s so rude…”

“Old Yan Er,” someone called.

“Yan Bugui, how can you control the children?” Yi Zhonghai scolded angrily.

“Old Yan, you know why Jia Zhangshi keeps coming to you? Because those two bribed her. If you don’t believe me, ask Jia Zhangshi…”

Seeing Yi Zhonghai ready to explode in fury, Lin Shaowen said sincerely, “Big Uncle, no need to thank me. I’m part of this courtyard too; it’s the least I can do.”

Then he dashed back home.

“Lin Shaowen, you bastard!” Yi Zhonghai howled toward the sky.

Lou Xiao’e watched Lin Shaowen’s retreating figure and giggled continuously.

Lin Shaowen was far more interesting than she had imagined.

“Well, I wondered why Jia Zhangshi kept bothering me for four days straight. Turns out she was bribed by you two,” Yan Bugui sneered.

“Old Yan, let me explain…”

“I’m not listening. Just wait,” Yan Bugui spat out a threat and turned back inside.

Yi Zhonghai looked at Lou Xiao’e, who was still giggling, and earnestly warned, “You’re Xu Damao’s girlfriend, right? If you come to this courtyard, stay far away from that guy…”

“I’m not,” Lou Xiao’e smiled, shaking her head. She ignored Yi Zhonghai’s further nagging, got into the small car by the door, and left.

Yi Zhonghai was stunned. What was going on?

Xu Damao gritted his teeth so hard it sounded like they might shatter. He roared, “Fool Zhu, I’m going to settle this with you…”

Immediately afterward, screams of pain echoed from the backyard.