Chapter Twenty-Six: Edema

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Caiyun lit the kerosene lamp and pressed a finger into Facai’s leg. A deep hollow appeared at once and did not rise again for a long while. She knew the leg was terribly swollen, but she did not dare tell Facai the truth. Instead, she said, “It’s a little swollen. Don’t go to the worksite. Stay home and rest for a while.”

“Yes, I’ve already asked for leave. I’ll go back once I’m better.” Facai was afraid his wife would worry, so he did not want to tell her how serious things really were.

Caiyun was no different. She knew perfectly well the saying that a man should fear swollen legs and a woman a swollen face, yet she forced herself to remain calm, doing everything she could to hide the anxiety in her heart and pretend that nothing was wrong.

She could hardly imagine how she would get through life without Facai. She felt that the family could not survive without him. So whenever she returned from collecting the meals, she always made Facai eat first, hoping the swelling would go down and that he would soon recover.

But Facai always said that he lay in bed all day without moving and did not feel hungry. Every time, he stopped after eating only half a bowl. No matter how Caiyun urged him, he insisted on eating so little.

Yuqiang and Yulan knew that their father was ill. Though they were tormented by hunger, they still hoped he would eat a little more. The death of Yucui had already left them burdened with deep guilt, and they did not want the same thing to happen to their father. Only little Yujun, after finishing his own food, would run over and snatch whatever remained in the others’ bowls. That was why Caiyun always served him last.

When Yujun grew hungry, he ran to his father’s bed and called, “Daddy, sweet-potato strips!”

Facai told him, “Son, in a couple of days I’ll take you to the worksite canteen for some sweet-potato strips, all right?”

The moment he finished speaking, Facai regretted it. He felt he should not have lied to his son.

“All right!” Yujun cried happily.

A few days later, Caiyun discovered that Facai’s face and stomach had begun to swell as well. Panic seized her. She was at a loss. Facai and his brother Fafu were both working at construction sites, and there was no one for her to consult. With nowhere else to turn, she went to Wang Hongbing.

“Captain Wang, Facai is swollen all over. He’s dying. Please, you have to save him.” Caiyun pleaded with him.

“He isn’t the only one with edema. What can I do?” Wang Hongbing replied coldly.

After Caiyun left, Wang Hongbing glared after her and spat viciously on the ground.

“Damn it! Asking me to save him? Dream on!”

At noon, Caiyun returned from the canteen with the food and handed Facai a bowl. “There are no more sweet-potato strips at the canteen. The relief grain they brought in has been changed to bean cakes. The canteen crushed the bean cakes, mixed them with straw powder, and boiled them into gruel. Try some first.”

Facai drank only half a small bowl before setting it down.

Yuqiang had barely taken a sip when he frowned, opened his mouth, and asked his mother, “Mom, why does this gruel scratch my throat?”

“It’s made from bean cakes. They’re a little moldy. Just make do with it.”

“Mom, why are there pieces of straw floating in it?” Yulan asked, puzzled.

“That straw is valuable. When soybeans are pressed for oil, the straw is used to wrap the oilseed. Once the oil has been squeezed out, the residue and the straw are pressed together to make bean cakes. So this is lifesaving straw—it still contains plenty of oil and nourishment.”

After lunch, Caiyun went to the brigade office again to look for Secretary Yang, but once more she failed to find him. She heard that many people had been searching for him lately, all of them desperate for grain.

Unwilling to give up, Caiyun went to Secretary Yang’s home. His family told her that he had been traveling back and forth among several water-conservancy worksites and that they did not know which one he was at.

When Caiyun returned, she saw the three children leaning against the wall with their eyes closed, basking in the sun. Even Yujun had lost his usual liveliness.

She pushed open the door and discovered Facai lying on the floor.

“Facai, what happened?” she cried in alarm.

“I don’t know how I ended up falling,” Facai said weakly.

Caiyun hurried over and helped him back onto the bed.

“Caiyun, I’m not going to make it. Send word and ask Fafu to come back.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. I’m looking for Secretary Yang. I’ll ask him to approve some grain for you.”

“Stop looking. We’re not related to him, neither by blood nor marriage. He’ll never approve grain for us.”

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“Every time I serve you food, you eat only a few bites and then stop. No matter how I persuade you, you won’t listen. Why?”

“Even if I ate the whole family’s share, I still wouldn’t be full. A few bites more or a few bites less makes no difference to me. But a few extra bites make a difference to the children.”

Caiyun could not hold back her tears. Choking with emotion, she said, “You’re already in this condition. Stop thinking about the children all the time. They’re doing fine. You don’t need to worry.”

“We’ve been married ten years. All this time, I’ve hoped that one day I could give you a good life. Now it seems that hope has come to nothing.”

“Life may be hard, but you’ve always been good to me. I feel lucky.”

“My temper is bad, and I’ve caused you so much trouble. Please forgive me.”

“We’re husband and wife. We’re meant to share both hardship and suffering.”

“Xiuxia and I are innocent. I never did anything to betray you.”

“I know. I believe you.”

“After I’m gone, I hope you’ll raise these three children to adulthood with your own hands.”

“Don’t let your thoughts run wild. Your health will slowly improve.”

“I know my own body. I have only a day or two left. After I’m gone, take the children and flee to Jiangsu. I hear there’s food there.”

Caiyun grasped Facai’s hand. “Facai, you can’t abandon us. You have to keep going. We’ll get through this together!”

“Why hasn’t Fafu come back yet?”

“I’ve already sent someone to deliver the message. He should be back soon.”

“I may not be able to wait that long. Tell him that his elder brother is sorry and ask him to forgive me. From now on, whenever you have trouble, discuss it with Fafu.”

“You have to hold on. Perhaps Fafu will have some way to help once he gets back.”

Facai looked exhausted. He closed his eyes and said no more.

The next morning, Caiyun went once again to the brigade office to find Secretary Yang. By chance, she saw him coming out. She hurried over and asked him to come take a look at Facai. He said he had to attend a meeting at the commune and had no time. Caiyun clung to him and refused to let go. In the end, he had no choice but to accompany her.

After arriving, Secretary Yang offered Facai a few words of consolation and then turned to leave. Caiyun begged him to approve some grain for Facai. He said the grain belonged to the commune and that he had no authority to distribute it. Caiyun knew that he did have the authority. She fell to her knees, embraced his legs, and begged him to release grain to save Facai.

Secretary Yang pried her hands away with all his strength, shoved her aside, and left.

On the afternoon of January 12, 1960, Caiyun heard Facai calling her in broken whispers.

“Caiyun… Cai…yun…”

She knew that he was dying. She hurried to his side, took his hand, and pressed her ear close to his lips.

“Facai, I’m here. What do you want to say?”

“I’m…going soon. Can you…promise me…one thing?” His voice was barely audible.

“What is it? Tell me.”

“I’m leaving…the three children…to you. Can you…promise me…that you’ll raise them…to adulthood…with your own hands?” His voice grew fainter and fainter.

“I promise. I promise I’ll raise them to adulthood myself!”

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“I’m going… Don’t let anyone…know… Keep bringing…food…for the children…”

“I understand.”

“Cai…yun, I…”

After saying this, Facai’s hand slowly relaxed. Leaving behind his wife and children, he departed this world. At thirty-six, he had hurried through the brief span of his life and was gone.

“Yuqiang, Yulan, come quickly! Your father is gone!” Caiyun called the children into the room.

Yuqiang and Yulan cried out through their tears, “Dad, what happened? Don’t leave us!”

Facai could no longer hear their cries.

“Don’t cry. Your father said we mustn’t let anyone know he’s gone. We can keep collecting his portion of food and bring it back for you to eat. Do you understand?”

Yuqiang and Yulan stopped sobbing. With tears still running down their faces, they nodded, then helped their mother dress their father.

Two-year-old Yujun came over and tugged at his father’s hand.

“Daddy, sweet-potato strips.”

“Don’t call him, son. Your daddy is asleep. He can’t hear you.” Caiyun spoke to him through her tears.

She lifted Yujun into her arms and comforted him. “From now on, Mama will make sure you eat things even more delicious than sweet-potato strips.”

No one in the village knew that Facai was dead. The canteen continued serving his portion, allowing the children to eat one extra bite at every meal.

About ten days later, Wang Hongbing apparently grew suspicious. Using the excuse of visiting Facai, he came to the house and discovered that Facai was already dead. He immediately ordered the canteen to stop serving his meals.

Caiyun hurriedly sent someone to deliver word to Fafu, asking him to return as soon as possible so they could discuss Facai’s burial.

Caiyun gathered some sorghum stalks and twisted them into straw ropes. She wove a mat for Facai, then, together with Yuqiang and Yulan, moved his body from the bed onto it.

It was after nine that evening when Fafu rushed in.

“Brother, what happened to you?”

“You came too late. Your brother has been gone for a long time.” Caiyun told him everything.

Seeing his brother lying on the floor, Fafu burst into tears. He knelt down and embraced Facai.

“Brother, why did you leave without warning? Why didn’t you wait for me?”

“Before he died, your brother kept asking when you would return.”

“I didn’t learn that you had sent word until I went to the canteen for dinner tonight. Did my brother leave any message for me?”

“He asked me to tell you that he was sorry and to ask your forgiveness. He also said that from now on, whenever I had trouble, I should discuss it with you.”

“Brother, I don’t blame you! Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of my sister-in-law and the children. Rest in peace.”

“I wove a mat from sorghum stalks for your brother’s burial.”

“In times like these, it’s the best we can do. My brother will understand.”

Fafu handed Caiyun the gruel he had brought back from the worksite.

“Qingying and I didn’t eat dinner. We wanted to save it for my brother, but we were too late. You should keep it.”